8 Signs Your Husband Is Annoying You Around The House

The kids are back in school today, FINALLY, so next week I’ll at last have a chance to write something new for you.  In the meantime, here’s one of my more popular posts about my husband and his annoying household habits.  Enjoy – and add your  thoughts in the comments!

I’m not sure what happens to a man’s listening skills between the time you’re dating and the time you’ve been married for a few years but I know that my hubs used to listen to me closely when we were dating and then intentionally repeat things I’d said back to me randomly weeks later just to prove it.

Things are, ahem, a little different now.

Signs your husband is not listening to you - Toulouse & TonicI say things 1001 times and still — DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Lately, I’ve resorted to making signs because I’m so tired of repeating myself.

As much shit as I give him about not listening to me anymore, I will say this.

The things I used to talk about were probably a lot more interesting than the things I talk about now.

IMG_0204Then:  Cool new music

Now:  Cool new kitchen appliances like DISHWASHERS and how they work.  i.e. they DO NOT WORK when you put a bowl over the top water-spout.  Didn’t work the first time you did it, still not working the 20th.

Then:  Our feelings for each other.

Now:  The feelings I have when I use my very limited time to organize something and he can’t put it back where it goes, even though I’ve asked repeatedly and even explained the “organizational system” to him at his insistence.

This is the sign I made around the 10th time he took some Excedrin and didn’t put it back with the other pain relievers.

IMG_0066And this is around the 30th time.

IMG_0197Then:  Who, among our friends, got the drunkest last night, fell down, stole somebody’s pants, cheated with somebody else’s girl/boyfriend, wrote a song that was awesome or sucked, called someone a bitch to their face or broke up with that girl/boyfriend that was never gonna last anyway.

Now:  Who, among our household, likes to drink cold water out of water bottles then leave them by the sink for apparent “water bottle elves” to refill instead of refilling them himself.

IMG_0144Then:  The things we wanted to do to each other.  (Sorry mom and dad).

Now:  The things I want to do to him when he makes one of his signature long-cooking dishes, the pot gets major crud burnt onto it and is left in our sink to grow new strains of fungus not yet known to man for 10 days to 2 weeks.

IMG_0108Then:  Where our relationship was going.

Now:  Where all the random stuff that’s left out in the house is going, i.e. into places where no one can find it anymore, one of which is “my” drawer in our entryway table.  My drawer is on the left, his is on the right.  When our 5-year-old can’t find anything at all, he says, “Daddy put it somewhere and we can’t find it everywhere.”

IMG_0123Then:  Our shared passion for books, writing and creativity.

Now:  His passion for throwing away honey-do lists and my passion for recreating them.

mobil

IMG_0075Those are the 8 “signs” your husband might be annoying you around the house.

It could quickly turn into 10 signs.  Just check back with me this afternoon.

My advice to keep your husband from annoying you?  The only thing that really works from me is to put it into perspective.  When I see that he’s put a bowl over the water spout in the dishwasher again, or left his closet door wide open AGAIN, I remind myself what a good husband and father he really is.  Like I said, sometimes it actually works.

Or go ahead and start leaving these annoying notes everywhere.  I won’t say he listens any better, but he gets the message.

Go ahead, subscribe. You know you want to. After all, how else are you supposed to quickly add new words like “stabby” to your vocabulary? Just pop your email address in the subscribe box below and you’ll get all my new posts (1-3 per week) right in your inbox.

This one gets pinterest love so I guess husbands are annoying. 😉
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Comments

  1. It’s like you get inside my head and write down all my thoughts! I LOVE this! I relate to each and every one. P.s…. I once threw up on my baby because after a first night out of drinking post-baby I just had to go look at him keeping soundly in his crib, wake him up so he would mile at me, and the rest is history. Poor kids first salmon.

    • But I AM in your head. How do you think I come up with all these outrageous posts??? Mwuahahahahaha!
      And poor baby will probably never eat salmon in his entire lifetime.

  2. The Cookware Stand-off hits close to home. Years ago, G cooked in his large cast iron skillet, told me that HE would clean it because it needed particular cleaning (that I was evidently incapable of performing,) and promptly left it in the oven for the next 4 weeks. Nasty.

    • Ha! G would “let” me clean it but we’ve just decided to clean up our own messy pans around here. You burn it, you clean it!

  3. Love this! I am snorting! I am taking this as inspiration to start making signs of my own. I think it will do wonders for my relationship 😉

    • ashersmom says:

      I’m getting the feeling that I should start an etsy shop with all my loving sayings to my husband stitched on pillows for all to purchase. Thoughts? ; )

  4. “I WILL STAB YOU.” Perfect. I’m going to order a ream of paper with that printed on it – after a few years of marriage, it applies to almost every situation.

    • ashersmom says:

      You try and try to be nice. You try and try to gently repeat. But eventually it all comes back to “I WILL STAB YOU.”

  5. Wait, you threaten to stab him, then expect him to cook AND wash the dishes afterward? (Don’t answer in your defense until I ask Twitter if this is fair.)

  6. After you stab him, I hope the pain reliever will be in the right place so he can easily find it.

  7. Kristin Moore says:

    Yes! Lol I love the idea of signs. My hubby still wouldn’t get it.

    Is your hubby like mine and if he does do something I ask, or he takes the time to do something like vacuum or clean the kitchen then he expects praise and god forbid if you mess anything up there is hell to pay. Drives me crazy and makes me want to threaten to stab him lol

  8. Personally, if I were him I would find this annoying. My manager does this to us with post-it notes. Her’s include such gems as: “Turn off the radio or I will confiscate it from you,” “Do not use permanent markers,” and “When you see this, come talk to me.” It’s passive aggressive and all we do is throw them away without reading them at this point. Open, face-to-face communication wins every time in my book.

    • Hmm… These notes aren’t passive aggressive. Passive aggressive would be:

      “This radio doesn’t turn itself off!”
      “If you use permanent markers, you will be permanently out of a job! LOL!”
      “I came by your desk during normal business hours, but you were not there. Please let me know when you come back to the office and are available to discuss work-related matters.”

      The notes you describe are just direct. Like this reply. It would have been passive aggressive if I just posted a definition of passive aggressive.

  9. Brian Graves says:

    I think Rebecca gave up on this when she put a sticky note on some leftovers saying “Do not eat this”. Well, I DID NOT eat the sticky note… She still uses them sometimes, but only for stuff that she knows I will forget because my eyes were glazed over at the time she told me. And that’s fine….

  10. My favorite part was “do not throw me away until you’ve done me”. So many levels to that one! If I started making signs, I think I’d be in pretty big trouble. I don’t know why the boys think they can just put dishes over the water spouts in the dishwasher and expect them to get clean ! K-ster is always putting big bowls and pans on the bottom rack and then nothing gets clean!!

  11. My favorite is “I Will Stab You.” Gotta start leaving more passive-aggressive notes for my hubby. I know he’ll appreciate them.

  12. HAHA! My husband does most of these things! Men…will they ever evolve as much as us women have?

  13. OMG!! Sooooo glad to know I am not alone!!
    God bless you for this HILARIOUS post!!!

  14. I absolutely love this. My and boyfriend haven’t even been together a year and he’s already started tuning out most of what I say. If he just listened the first time I wouldn’t have to feel like I’m nagging all the time. Sometimes it would be nice to be the man and quite simply not care. It’s soon time for notes.

    • ashersmom says:

      Oh it gets worse. I had an entire conversation with my husband on the airplane yesterday morning that by mid-afternoon, he swore we had never had. He had absolutely ZERO memory of it. Not even a “oh i sort of remember something about that.” ZERO. His was looking at me and saying ‘uh-huh” but he was not even there. Good luck, girl. ; )

  15. Brian Graves says:

    You know, on further thought about this, I wonder if it’s just a “guy thing”. I don’t know if my experience is typical, but I had some testing done last year… Looooong tests. Results: as far as visual, spatial and reasoning skills, I am a super-genius. But when it comes to verbal comprehension and memory, I am virtually mentally challenged. I’m dead serious. My doctor explained why this is but I don’t remember what he said. So perhaps the sticky note methodology has it’s merits…

    • Brian Graves says:

      Better yet, draw me a picture….

      • Brian Graves says:

        I would say, however, that I am the “Organization Nazi” in the family. Drives me nuts when canned olives (which go on the canned vegetable/rice shelf) end up on the soup, tuna fish and box-mix shelf shelf or tuna fish lands on the drinks/snacks/pasta shelf (it goes on the third-quarter sector of the soup, tuna fish and box-mix shelf). Or the worst, sour cream on the small-bottle condiments shelf – nails on a chalkboard. I’ve tried having “my shelf” but that unsurprisingly creates it’s own issues… I say, just learn to deal. And learn to love the process of organizing as much as being organized! 🙂

        • ashersmom says:

          Being organized has gone out the window when the kids came in. And it bothers me because I like things organized. I think that’s why I lose it when I use precious time to organize something and it gets “disrespected.” I’ve learned to live with but it doesn’t mean I can’t have fun with it. ; )

    • Perhaps your doctor should have written this down for you. On a sticky note. Or a pad of sticky notes.
      If the singularity of the comments I’ve gotten on this one are any indication, it is indeed a “guy thing.” However, something must happen to trigger it over time, because like I said, my hubs used to remember every little thing I said, but now? Can’t remember conversations earlier that same day. Perhaps my voice has worn something out in his inner ear? ; )

  16. I am very busy looking for a post-it to write “I will stab you” on so I can put it up with my formerly alphabetized spices.

  17. I got so caught up reading your vijaggle post last week that I didn’t read this until now. Thank you for making my afternoon! This is hilarious! I also want to know why my husband cannot figure out how to fold the hand towels in our bathroom. It’s really not that hard…is it?

  18. Bless you for writing this. I am so glad I am not the only one filled with crippling rage over seemingly stupid things my husband cannot do properly. And I rarely laugh out loud, like actually laugh, but “I will stab you,” is the funniest thing I have seen in awhile. Thanks for linking this one up to the Blog Hop!

    • ashersmom says:

      You should’ve seen his response. He scribbled out “I will stab you” and wrote “Bring it!” on the other side of the bottle!

  19. I’ve considered the sign thing for my grown sons. Signs for the bathroom especially.

    “Garbage and used q-tips here”
    “This is the handle to make the poo go away, please make it go away”

    You know, the usual.

    • ashersmom says:

      I’m sure when my boys get bigger, I’ll have to start making signs for them too. Thanks for the heads-up!

  20. OMG that is too funny!! I so totally should have taken pics of setting up for New Years, Hubby was hosting alone until I got done work, so I was up an extra two hours the night before so I could have everything set up and labeled for him. I could picture guest all around the house starving and wondering if there was anything besides beer to drink. Which there was cause I made a kick ass sangria, and set up a little self serve bar. But I kept thinking even with clearly labels locations for stuff with instruction it would not be right. He actually followed the notes that were everywhere, and did it all correctly. I walked into a already flowing party with happy eating and drinking guest!! Just like I had done it all myself! LOL

    • ashersmom says:

      I’d love to have seen that scene sans the instructions from you though! I bet it would’ve been exactly what you feared!

  21. Funny stuff! There is a horse head (a la Godfather) pillowcase on Pinterest. You know, just in case he needs further convincing. Ellen

  22. Oh my god, this is so funny, and so true! I’m about to start resorting to signs.

  23. This is brilliant and I’m totally doing it. Actually, I’m going to make a few pre-made “I will stab you” post-its just to have handy. 😉

  24. You had me at “I will stab you”.
    I am now subscribed to your blog and you are now my new best friend. Don’t fight it.

    My go to phrase has always been, “I will bludgeon you in your sleep.” and after 10 years of marriage it has been shortened to just a dirty look and the word “bludgeon” (Hissed, of course. The hissing is key.)

    • Oh we could totally hang out. I’ve told my husband since he was my boyfriend, “If you ever cheat on me, I will hit you in the head with a frying pan.” I’m down to just saying “frying pan” now and we generalize it for anything that makes me mad. Occasionally, he’ll just take the heavy skillet out and say, “I better hide this now.”
      Good thing my hubs has a good sense of humor. Although I’d totally do it.

  25. You had me at “I will stab you”
    I am now subscribed to your blog and you are now my new best friend. Don’t fight it.

    My go to phrase has always been “I will bludgeon you in your sleep.” Now after 10 years of marriage it has been shortened to just a dirty look and the word “bludgeon”. (Hissed, of course. The hissing is key.)

  26. Once I blogged about the homemade lemonade my husband made that went bad and he left it in the pitcher like that for 3 MONTHS I kid you not…because I refused to clean it out. WHY do they do these things? How many times do I have to put his pill bottles up in the cabinet? Why does he load the dishwasher and not turn it on…WHY DOESN’T HE FLUSH…..it literally is the LEAST HE CAN DO…can’t live with them…

  27. Great list! I need to make a sign for all drawers and cabinet doors that say “I can not shut myself. If you open me, CLOSE ME!”

  28. I write my husband notes as well. Usually my seven year old finds them and writes a note of her own, telling her Dad to ignore me. I often use the phrase “I will stab you” in person, for example…”I will stab you if you do not wipe off the counter…it is part of doing the dishes!”. My husband does all the dishes though, I think it is pretty fair since I watch his children and do almost all of the cooking.

  29. This is about the funniest post I have seen in ages. And so to the point. Thank you. I am not alone in this.
    My husband still, puts wrapped up socks in the wash, leaves drawers open, and all sorts of little things that make me say what?

  30. This reminds me, have you seen Date Night?! It’s worth watching just for the ‘leaving stuff open’ scenes they have. It helps that I have funny-bone crushes on Tina Fey and Steve Carell.

  31. Oh that is hilarious! Especially about the medicine bottle!

  32. I totally could have written this post! Well probably most wives past the honeymoon phase can 🙂 I actually was starting a similar list, as I turned around to go to bed tonight, well to get in bed and read blogs, I saw all of the pans from his dinner on the stove with food still in them! He works late, I make him dinner, when he gets home around 9:30pm he heats it up and eats it. 9x out of 10, he takes his warmed food down to the basement to watch TV, and leaves the pots full of leftovers on the stove without even telling me! WTH! At least if he told me, I could have bitched and then cleaned them up, before thinking I was getting to go get all cozy and relaxed just to be surprised by ONE MORE CHORE.

  33. Getting through pins on the Kid-Blog Humor PInterest Board…this is great! My fave? “I will stab you” Bahaha!

  34. Does this matter? Does any of this really matter? I used to have the same control issues. Despite how it makes you feel, and believe me, I know, there are 2 people there and surely there are plenty of things that you do that annoy the cr* out of him too. Like these notes.

    I’ve been married 12 years. We have 5 kids. One learns that there are more poignant things in life than a bottle being 2″ off from where it’s supposed to be.

    In the long run, what’s going to be more important, that you enjoyed your moments with him or that you let your own hang ups keep you apart?

  35. Glad to see I’m not the only one who threatens to stab their husband

  36. I almost chocked when I saw the “I will stab you” sign!! Love it. I may have to leave a post it note with those words on them the next time my hubby leaves his dirty underwear on the bathroom sink!

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8 Signs Your Husband Is Annoying You Around The House

The kids are back in school today, FINALLY, so next week I’ll at last have a chance to write something new for you.  In the meantime, here’s one of my more popular posts about my husband and his annoying household habits.  Enjoy – and add your  thoughts in the comments!

I’m not sure what happens to a man’s listening skills between the time you’re dating and the time you’ve been married for a few years but I know that my hubs used to listen to me closely when we were dating and then intentionally repeat things I’d said back to me randomly weeks later just to prove it.

Things are, ahem, a little different now.

Signs your husband is not listening to you - Toulouse & TonicI say things 1001 times and still — DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Lately, I’ve resorted to making signs because I’m so tired of repeating myself.

As much shit as I give him about not listening to me anymore, I will say this.

The things I used to talk about were probably a lot more interesting than the things I talk about now.

IMG_0204Then:  Cool new music

Now:  Cool new kitchen appliances like DISHWASHERS and how they work.  i.e. they DO NOT WORK when you put a bowl over the top water-spout.  Didn’t work the first time you did it, still not working the 20th.

Then:  Our feelings for each other.

Now:  The feelings I have when I use my very limited time to organize something and he can’t put it back where it goes, even though I’ve asked repeatedly and even explained the “organizational system” to him at his insistence.

This is the sign I made around the 10th time he took some Excedrin and didn’t put it back with the other pain relievers.

IMG_0066And this is around the 30th time.

IMG_0197Then:  Who, among our friends, got the drunkest last night, fell down, stole somebody’s pants, cheated with somebody else’s girl/boyfriend, wrote a song that was awesome or sucked, called someone a bitch to their face or broke up with that girl/boyfriend that was never gonna last anyway.

Now:  Who, among our household, likes to drink cold water out of water bottles then leave them by the sink for apparent “water bottle elves” to refill instead of refilling them himself.

IMG_0144Then:  The things we wanted to do to each other.  (Sorry mom and dad).

Now:  The things I want to do to him when he makes one of his signature long-cooking dishes, the pot gets major crud burnt onto it and is left in our sink to grow new strains of fungus not yet known to man for 10 days to 2 weeks.

IMG_0108Then:  Where our relationship was going.

Now:  Where all the random stuff that’s left out in the house is going, i.e. into places where no one can find it anymore, one of which is “my” drawer in our entryway table.  My drawer is on the left, his is on the right.  When our 5-year-old can’t find anything at all, he says, “Daddy put it somewhere and we can’t find it everywhere.”

IMG_0123Then:  Our shared passion for books, writing and creativity.

Now:  His passion for throwing away honey-do lists and my passion for recreating them.

mobil

IMG_0075Those are the 8 “signs” your husband might be annoying you around the house.

It could quickly turn into 10 signs.  Just check back with me this afternoon.

My advice to keep your husband from annoying you?  The only thing that really works from me is to put it into perspective.  When I see that he’s put a bowl over the water spout in the dishwasher again, or left his closet door wide open AGAIN, I remind myself what a good husband and father he really is.  Like I said, sometimes it actually works.

Or go ahead and start leaving these annoying notes everywhere.  I won’t say he listens any better, but he gets the message.

Go ahead, subscribe. You know you want to. After all, how else are you supposed to quickly add new words like “stabby” to your vocabulary? Just pop your email address in the subscribe box below and you’ll get all my new posts (1-3 per week) right in your inbox.

This one gets pinterest love so I guess husbands are annoying. 😉
Follow me here: Visit Toulouse and Tonic’s profile on Pinterest.

  1. Becks says:

    It’s like you get inside my head and write down all my thoughts! I LOVE this! I relate to each and every one. P.s…. I once threw up on my baby because after a first night out of drinking post-baby I just had to go look at him keeping soundly in his crib, wake him up so he would mile at me, and the rest is history. Poor kids first salmon.

    1. ashersmom says:

      But I AM in your head. How do you think I come up with all these outrageous posts??? Mwuahahahahaha!
      And poor baby will probably never eat salmon in his entire lifetime.

  2. ANDREA says:

    The Cookware Stand-off hits close to home. Years ago, G cooked in his large cast iron skillet, told me that HE would clean it because it needed particular cleaning (that I was evidently incapable of performing,) and promptly left it in the oven for the next 4 weeks. Nasty.

    1. ashersmom says:

      Ha! G would “let” me clean it but we’ve just decided to clean up our own messy pans around here. You burn it, you clean it!

  3. Meredith says:

    Love this! I am snorting! I am taking this as inspiration to start making signs of my own. I think it will do wonders for my relationship 😉

    1. ashersmom says:

      I’m getting the feeling that I should start an etsy shop with all my loving sayings to my husband stitched on pillows for all to purchase. Thoughts? ; )

  4. “I WILL STAB YOU.” Perfect. I’m going to order a ream of paper with that printed on it – after a few years of marriage, it applies to almost every situation.

    1. ashersmom says:

      You try and try to be nice. You try and try to gently repeat. But eventually it all comes back to “I WILL STAB YOU.”

  5. Wait, you threaten to stab him, then expect him to cook AND wash the dishes afterward? (Don’t answer in your defense until I ask Twitter if this is fair.)

    1. ashersmom says:

      You are my husband’s new favorite, btw.
      And maybe mine too. ; )

  6. After you stab him, I hope the pain reliever will be in the right place so he can easily find it.

    1. ashersmom says:

      See? Another good reason to put it back where it goes. LOL.

  7. Kristin Moore says:

    Yes! Lol I love the idea of signs. My hubby still wouldn’t get it.

    Is your hubby like mine and if he does do something I ask, or he takes the time to do something like vacuum or clean the kitchen then he expects praise and god forbid if you mess anything up there is hell to pay. Drives me crazy and makes me want to threaten to stab him lol

    1. ashersmom says:

      Gabe reads my blog so NO, he is NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. ; )

  8. Mary says:

    Personally, if I were him I would find this annoying. My manager does this to us with post-it notes. Her’s include such gems as: “Turn off the radio or I will confiscate it from you,” “Do not use permanent markers,” and “When you see this, come talk to me.” It’s passive aggressive and all we do is throw them away without reading them at this point. Open, face-to-face communication wins every time in my book.

    1. Nickie says:

      Hmm… These notes aren’t passive aggressive. Passive aggressive would be:

      “This radio doesn’t turn itself off!”
      “If you use permanent markers, you will be permanently out of a job! LOL!”
      “I came by your desk during normal business hours, but you were not there. Please let me know when you come back to the office and are available to discuss work-related matters.”

      The notes you describe are just direct. Like this reply. It would have been passive aggressive if I just posted a definition of passive aggressive.

  9. Brian Graves says:

    I think Rebecca gave up on this when she put a sticky note on some leftovers saying “Do not eat this”. Well, I DID NOT eat the sticky note… She still uses them sometimes, but only for stuff that she knows I will forget because my eyes were glazed over at the time she told me. And that’s fine….

    1. ashersmom says:

      Oh your lovely wife. Bless her heart. ; )

  10. sparkling74 says:

    My favorite part was “do not throw me away until you’ve done me”. So many levels to that one! If I started making signs, I think I’d be in pretty big trouble. I don’t know why the boys think they can just put dishes over the water spouts in the dishwasher and expect them to get clean ! K-ster is always putting big bowls and pans on the bottom rack and then nothing gets clean!!

  11. My favorite is “I Will Stab You.” Gotta start leaving more passive-aggressive notes for my hubby. I know he’ll appreciate them.

    1. ashersmom says:

      People keep saying “passive-aggressive” like it’s a BAD thing. It’s really just a lifestyle choice. ; )

    2. candace says:

      Thats my fav too!

  12. candace says:

    HAHA! My husband does most of these things! Men…will they ever evolve as much as us women have?

    1. ashersmom says:

      And it’s all things that make me look like a harpy too! What the hell? Harpy, it is.

  13. Calypso says:

    OMG!! Sooooo glad to know I am not alone!!
    God bless you for this HILARIOUS post!!!

  14. Venassa says:

    I absolutely love this. My and boyfriend haven’t even been together a year and he’s already started tuning out most of what I say. If he just listened the first time I wouldn’t have to feel like I’m nagging all the time. Sometimes it would be nice to be the man and quite simply not care. It’s soon time for notes.

    1. ashersmom says:

      Oh it gets worse. I had an entire conversation with my husband on the airplane yesterday morning that by mid-afternoon, he swore we had never had. He had absolutely ZERO memory of it. Not even a “oh i sort of remember something about that.” ZERO. His was looking at me and saying ‘uh-huh” but he was not even there. Good luck, girl. ; )

      1. YOU MEAN I AM NOT ALONE!? I thought I was alone in this….. LOL I am constantly asking my hubs if he had his “Kim filter on…”

  15. Brian Graves says:

    You know, on further thought about this, I wonder if it’s just a “guy thing”. I don’t know if my experience is typical, but I had some testing done last year… Looooong tests. Results: as far as visual, spatial and reasoning skills, I am a super-genius. But when it comes to verbal comprehension and memory, I am virtually mentally challenged. I’m dead serious. My doctor explained why this is but I don’t remember what he said. So perhaps the sticky note methodology has it’s merits…

    1. Brian Graves says:

      Better yet, draw me a picture….

      1. Brian Graves says:

        I would say, however, that I am the “Organization Nazi” in the family. Drives me nuts when canned olives (which go on the canned vegetable/rice shelf) end up on the soup, tuna fish and box-mix shelf shelf or tuna fish lands on the drinks/snacks/pasta shelf (it goes on the third-quarter sector of the soup, tuna fish and box-mix shelf). Or the worst, sour cream on the small-bottle condiments shelf – nails on a chalkboard. I’ve tried having “my shelf” but that unsurprisingly creates it’s own issues… I say, just learn to deal. And learn to love the process of organizing as much as being organized! 🙂

        1. ashersmom says:

          Being organized has gone out the window when the kids came in. And it bothers me because I like things organized. I think that’s why I lose it when I use precious time to organize something and it gets “disrespected.” I’ve learned to live with but it doesn’t mean I can’t have fun with it. ; )

    2. ashersmom says:

      Perhaps your doctor should have written this down for you. On a sticky note. Or a pad of sticky notes.
      If the singularity of the comments I’ve gotten on this one are any indication, it is indeed a “guy thing.” However, something must happen to trigger it over time, because like I said, my hubs used to remember every little thing I said, but now? Can’t remember conversations earlier that same day. Perhaps my voice has worn something out in his inner ear? ; )

  16. Nickie says:

    I am very busy looking for a post-it to write “I will stab you” on so I can put it up with my formerly alphabetized spices.

  17. Dani Ryan says:

    I got so caught up reading your vijaggle post last week that I didn’t read this until now. Thank you for making my afternoon! This is hilarious! I also want to know why my husband cannot figure out how to fold the hand towels in our bathroom. It’s really not that hard…is it?

    1. ashersmom says:

      I’m sure it’s not because THEY DON’T CARE. Right???

  18. Bless you for writing this. I am so glad I am not the only one filled with crippling rage over seemingly stupid things my husband cannot do properly. And I rarely laugh out loud, like actually laugh, but “I will stab you,” is the funniest thing I have seen in awhile. Thanks for linking this one up to the Blog Hop!

    1. ashersmom says:

      You should’ve seen his response. He scribbled out “I will stab you” and wrote “Bring it!” on the other side of the bottle!

  19. I’ve considered the sign thing for my grown sons. Signs for the bathroom especially.

    “Garbage and used q-tips here”
    “This is the handle to make the poo go away, please make it go away”

    You know, the usual.

    1. ashersmom says:

      I’m sure when my boys get bigger, I’ll have to start making signs for them too. Thanks for the heads-up!

  20. OMG that is too funny!! I so totally should have taken pics of setting up for New Years, Hubby was hosting alone until I got done work, so I was up an extra two hours the night before so I could have everything set up and labeled for him. I could picture guest all around the house starving and wondering if there was anything besides beer to drink. Which there was cause I made a kick ass sangria, and set up a little self serve bar. But I kept thinking even with clearly labels locations for stuff with instruction it would not be right. He actually followed the notes that were everywhere, and did it all correctly. I walked into a already flowing party with happy eating and drinking guest!! Just like I had done it all myself! LOL

    1. ashersmom says:

      I’d love to have seen that scene sans the instructions from you though! I bet it would’ve been exactly what you feared!

  21. Funny stuff! There is a horse head (a la Godfather) pillowcase on Pinterest. You know, just in case he needs further convincing. Ellen

    1. ashersmom says:

      Nice! I do indeed need some new ideas as he’s getting wise to these!

  22. Kylie says:

    Oh my god, this is so funny, and so true! I’m about to start resorting to signs.

  23. This is brilliant and I’m totally doing it. Actually, I’m going to make a few pre-made “I will stab you” post-its just to have handy. 😉

  24. Jenn says:

    You had me at “I will stab you”.
    I am now subscribed to your blog and you are now my new best friend. Don’t fight it.

    My go to phrase has always been, “I will bludgeon you in your sleep.” and after 10 years of marriage it has been shortened to just a dirty look and the word “bludgeon” (Hissed, of course. The hissing is key.)

    1. ashersmom says:

      Oh we could totally hang out. I’ve told my husband since he was my boyfriend, “If you ever cheat on me, I will hit you in the head with a frying pan.” I’m down to just saying “frying pan” now and we generalize it for anything that makes me mad. Occasionally, he’ll just take the heavy skillet out and say, “I better hide this now.”
      Good thing my hubs has a good sense of humor. Although I’d totally do it.

  25. Jenn says:

    You had me at “I will stab you”
    I am now subscribed to your blog and you are now my new best friend. Don’t fight it.

    My go to phrase has always been “I will bludgeon you in your sleep.” Now after 10 years of marriage it has been shortened to just a dirty look and the word “bludgeon”. (Hissed, of course. The hissing is key.)

  26. Once I blogged about the homemade lemonade my husband made that went bad and he left it in the pitcher like that for 3 MONTHS I kid you not…because I refused to clean it out. WHY do they do these things? How many times do I have to put his pill bottles up in the cabinet? Why does he load the dishwasher and not turn it on…WHY DOESN’T HE FLUSH…..it literally is the LEAST HE CAN DO…can’t live with them…

  27. Great list! I need to make a sign for all drawers and cabinet doors that say “I can not shut myself. If you open me, CLOSE ME!”

  28. InAGlade says:

    I write my husband notes as well. Usually my seven year old finds them and writes a note of her own, telling her Dad to ignore me. I often use the phrase “I will stab you” in person, for example…”I will stab you if you do not wipe off the counter…it is part of doing the dishes!”. My husband does all the dishes though, I think it is pretty fair since I watch his children and do almost all of the cooking.

  29. Deborah says:

    This is about the funniest post I have seen in ages. And so to the point. Thank you. I am not alone in this.
    My husband still, puts wrapped up socks in the wash, leaves drawers open, and all sorts of little things that make me say what?

  30. This reminds me, have you seen Date Night?! It’s worth watching just for the ‘leaving stuff open’ scenes they have. It helps that I have funny-bone crushes on Tina Fey and Steve Carell.

  31. Jennifer says:

    Oh that is hilarious! Especially about the medicine bottle!

  32. Jen says:

    I totally could have written this post! Well probably most wives past the honeymoon phase can 🙂 I actually was starting a similar list, as I turned around to go to bed tonight, well to get in bed and read blogs, I saw all of the pans from his dinner on the stove with food still in them! He works late, I make him dinner, when he gets home around 9:30pm he heats it up and eats it. 9x out of 10, he takes his warmed food down to the basement to watch TV, and leaves the pots full of leftovers on the stove without even telling me! WTH! At least if he told me, I could have bitched and then cleaned them up, before thinking I was getting to go get all cozy and relaxed just to be surprised by ONE MORE CHORE.

  33. tricia says:

    Getting through pins on the Kid-Blog Humor PInterest Board…this is great! My fave? “I will stab you” Bahaha!

  34. Bella says:

    Does this matter? Does any of this really matter? I used to have the same control issues. Despite how it makes you feel, and believe me, I know, there are 2 people there and surely there are plenty of things that you do that annoy the cr* out of him too. Like these notes.

    I’ve been married 12 years. We have 5 kids. One learns that there are more poignant things in life than a bottle being 2″ off from where it’s supposed to be.

    In the long run, what’s going to be more important, that you enjoyed your moments with him or that you let your own hang ups keep you apart?

  35. Glad to see I’m not the only one who threatens to stab their husband

  36. I almost chocked when I saw the “I will stab you” sign!! Love it. I may have to leave a post it note with those words on them the next time my hubby leaves his dirty underwear on the bathroom sink!

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