I’m Suzanne – the voice of Toulouse and a SAHM of 2 stinky boys. I spend a lot of time in the pajamas that I wore last night (even when I’m not being sexy on Halloween) and reheating tepid coffee. I get distracted easily so having kids has meant I start one million projects a day and complete exactly none. But that’s okay because we’re just here to laugh and connect. I invite you to pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine (I’m not judging!) and stay a while.
Most of the satisfaction I get from this blog comes from knowing you read it and enjoy. If you sign up to get my posts by email, I’ll do a happy dance then make irish coffees for both of us. I’d also love to be able to let you know when my book of funny essays about mothering 2 crazy boys and being a wife is ready. See that little subscribe button just right there to the right? That’s all it takes.
Toulouse & Tonic is a Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms blog. My writing has been featured on Huffington Post, In The Powder Room, Bonbon Break, Mamapedia and the fabulous blogs Scary Mommy, Mommy Shorts and Rants From Mommyland. You can find a list of my cool blog awards here.
Speaking Engagements & Book Clubs
Please contact me for more information if you’re interested in having me speak to your organization or if you’d like to feature one of my books in your book club and want like to see if I can join you, (particularly if you are in the Mobile, Alabama or surrounding area.) Write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
For those interested in sponsorship information, please contact me at email@example.com. I’m open to giveaways, product reviews, advertising and sponsorships for brands and products I believe in. I have a background in marketing and PR, so I’ll be happy to work with you to create a program that suits your needs, however small or large.
My newest book is a collection of stories from more than 35 hilarious bloggers about the men in our lives – mostly husbands. Wouldn’t you like to read it and laugh? Mine is about how bleach and margaritas don’t mix with romance.
And on East Atlanta Patch
I’m also in this fabulous book, talking about the worst date in the history of womankind and the unwanted “present” he gave me at the end of the night. It’s full of these kinds of stories…you know, the kind you’d only tell your girlfriends in the powder room. Read more about it and get your own copy here.
Now a little more about
THE TOULOUSE AND TONIC PLAYERS*
The hubs, Gabe. He has a good sense of humor. And a strong sense of self-worth. And we have a good enough relationship that he’s completely comfortable with this. And this. And this. What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.
My 7-year-old, Asher and my 2yo, Meyer. Get the low-down on them here: 20 Things That Never Get Old About Having Kids. Because lots of things do, emirate? But not these things.
And find out how I plan to keep them mineminemine forever in 26 Ways I’m Making Sure My Future Daughter in Law Loves Me.
STILL wanna know more? Here are 10 COMPLETELY RANDOM FACTS About Me
1. I was born with a Olympic-level talent in parallel parking. I’ve never practiced yet I can parallel park my SUV in a space the size of a postage stamp.
2. I used to manage a rock-n-roll band. Although no one gives 2 shits what I used to do now that I’m a mom.
3. I twirled the baton competitively until I was in high school. Haven’t touched one in a long time, but I can still do the sugar-bowl.
4. Tearing pictures of beauty products out of magazines is a major compulsion, even though all I do is collect them in drawers for 3 years then throw them away.
5. I am both a perfectionist and terribly, terribly impatient — two such opposing personality traits that I often end up nothing but frustrated.
6. I’ve wanted to be a writer since before I could write anything. My parents still have my first book: a folded piece of plan white paper with a drawing of a stick figure inside.
7. I think you really can tell something about people from their shoes.
8. Despite what my first resume out of college may have said, I am not really a people person.
9. I spent almost 3 weeks on complete hospital bed rest and then delivered my son at 29 1/2 weeks gestation. That saga has been going on since January 15, 2012. Spoiler alert: he’s all good now.
10. I think everyone needs to get and keep their own life. Even mommies.
11. (bonus) I have a bit of a potty mouth. Deal with it.