Colored People And Other Crazy Things Little Kids Say.

Submit to StumbleUpon

This morning, while in my bathroom getting ready, I hear my almost-5-year-old yelling, “Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!” from the breakfast table.

Annoyed, I get up from my make-up mirror and walk in there.

“What’s the issue?” I say.

He says to me with bright eyes, like he just remembered a new thing he’d learned, “We’re colored people!”

Hmmm.

“We’re colored people?” I say back to him, just to be sure I heard right, and begin preparing the necessary speech in my head.

“YES!” he says, excitedly.

Then he holds one arm out, looks down at it and says, “What color am I?”

“You’re white, I guess,” I reply.

“What color are you?”

“I’m white too.”

“What color is daddy?”

“Daddy is white too.”

He thinks a second and says, “What color is Hadley?”

“Hadley (one of our dogs) is yellow.”

“And what color is Brady?” he says.

“Brady (another dog) is kind of beige, I guess.” I say.

“Yes,” he says, satisfied.

I wait a moment.

Nothing else.

This is not at all the direction I thought this talk was going.

I thought my kid, who really truly doesn’t see color, had finally had it pointed out to him at summer camp.

But he has his own interpretation of it.

And I think that’s so very nice.

Last week, Asher told me that I needed to go to the doctor (him being the doctor) to have my booty checked.

The bubble wrap that was in my “booty”

I asked him what was wrong with my booty.

He mentioned that it was squeaky.

I’m typically a little afraid of what’s coming if someone tells me there’s something wrong with my booty but this one just left me intriqued.

So I sat down and let him “examine” me.

Fully clothed, of course.

He looked around for a minute, then grabbed something with this clampy thing he has and brought it over.

He said, “You’re all better now.  I found this in your booty.”

Yes, clearly.  A sheet of bubble wrap lost in my booty would indeed make it squeaky.

Dear Lord, little kids are entertaining.

Submit to StumbleUpon

Talking to Strangers

Submit to StumbleUpon

strangersgraphicTalking to strangers is, well, let’s be honest…not something I’m into.

I’m not that big of a talker period.

I don’t enjoy talking on the phone.  I don’t even enjoy talking in person much of the time.

Every now and then, I’ll end up in an actual interesting conversation with someone and then I’ll think — wow, this talking thing isn’t so bad.

But inevitably, the interesting portion of that conversation will end and then it’s on to talking about things I’ve already talked about/listened to at least 300 times.

Yawn.

My husband, on the other hand, just looooves to talk.

He likes to talk to people he knows.  He likes to talk to people he doesn’t know.  He likes to talk on the phone.  He likes to talk in person.  He likes to both talk and listen.

We have a lot in common.

But this is not one of those things.

I think it’s interesting, in a why-would-you-start-that kind of way, that he’ll talk to complete strangers in a restaurant, grocery store or even a parking lot.

I’m the person who puts my ipod speakers in my ears the second I get on a plane so the person next to me doesn’t start a conversation.

I’m not a total bitch.  I promise.

I’m just not much into chit-chat.

As I explain to my husband when he marvels at my lack of interest in chewing the fat, there are only so many words allotted to any given person in a day and he uses up 100% of his and 80% of mine, so what am I supposed to do?

But I like it that way.

THIS

THIS

So imagine my surprise when I started going out and about with a preemie who has an apnea monitor and a feeding tube. And everywhere I go, people start asking me about him, or telling me their preemie stories.

It would be impossible for me to tell you how many of these experiences I’ve had in the last few months since Meyer came home from the hospital.

A lot.

He can’t exactly stay with a babysitter, so I drag him everywhere I go.

And people stop me.

In malls. Doctor offices. Grocery stores. At Asher’s preschool. On the sidewalk. In the drugstore. At the dog groomer. At festivals. And once, in a public bathroom.

Which is kinda weird.

But the weirdest thing of all is that I don’t mind it so much.

At least 75% of these people end up sharing preemie stories with me.

They were preemies, they had a preemie, their sister or neighbor had a preemie.

And without fail, everyone of them then tells me how great the kid is doing today.

heatsleep1Even 29-weekers like Meyer are winning spelling bees, quarterbacking football teams, performing original music in Europe, and acing their SATs.

It makes me smile.  And feel a real sense of community.

And feel really good about my baby’s chances of being whatever kind of talented, accomplished or even just happy person he wants to be.

He’s already paying me back by being the best baby ever put on the planet.

We may have gone through some serious stuff for a few months.

There’s no “may” about it.

But I think he’s paying us back by being as little trouble as he can be from here on out.

Which makes him easy to drag all over the place all the time.

And puts us in public places where people want to talk to me all the time.

And for once, I kinda like it.

Maybe I should open myself up to general chit-chat with strangers more often?

After all, there’s bound to be some aspect of the weather I haven’t discussed with the postman 30 or 40 times.

Eh. That sounds hard.

 

Like Toulouse and Tonic on facebook.  Follow @toulouseNtonic on twitter.
Like talking to strangers? Me neither. Let’s be friends instead. Vote for me!
Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

Submit to StumbleUpon

Arranged Marriage

Submit to StumbleUpon

My son, Meyer, is engaged.

I happily accept all of your congratulations and mazel tovs.

I also freely admit that he is only a few months old, just met his fiance and drooled in her general direction for the first time this weekend, and is quite some time away from being able, physically even, to say “I do.”

But those are minor details.

Meyer’s fiance is named Ellen.

He was born on January 31.

She is a Leap Day baby.

Meyer was born 3 months premature, and I’m convinced he came early just because he wanted to be older, not younger, than his intended.

It probably goes without saying that Ellen is the daughter of one of my very best friends.

Someone who’s like family to me.

So what’s so wrong with me wanting to make that family title official?

Granted, I’m not considering any say Meyer might want to have in the matter of his future life partner.

And although I was the kind of independent, stubborn child who would’ve gone postal over the mere suggestion that my parents would choose what cereal I would eat in the morning, much less my future husband, I’ve rethought the idea of arranged marriage as an adult.

And I think it’s just peachy.

In fact, Ellen’s mother and I talked rehearsal dinners (I’m thinking luau) and possible destination weddings (I suggested Hawaii; she thought budget-friendly Cancun) this past weekend.

We also began to take all the cutesy photos of them together that will elicit the most passionate oohs and aahs during their rehearsal dinner slide show.

In fact, we put them naked in a baby bathtub together Saturday night for absolutely no other reason except to take their picture together for said slide show.

The whole event will be simply fabulous.

I just hope Meyer’s not one of those kids that’s all into FREE WILL and crap like that.

After all, mother knows best.

And what’s best for him is to know that his own family and his wife’s family will love each other and get along swimmingly.

In fact, unlike most husbands, he won’t even need to worry about dividing up his holidays. We’ll just do them together as one big happy family.

After meeting delightful baby Ellen for the first time, I’m really not worried that Meyer will choose to mess up my lovely arrangements for him.

There’s no way he’ll be able to resist falling in love with that face.

And once his mom and I get the wedding plans finalized, which should be within the year, we can get right to work picking out names for their children.

After all, I didn’t get to use any of those baby girl names I’ve picked out over the years.

Yep. I’ve got my eye on someone for Asher too.

I reject your modern times. Bahahahahahaha!

Submit to StumbleUpon