It’s time for the next edition of my roundup of the funniest moms on the internet. I’ve been scouring the www collecting the most hilarious posts for you and here are the ones that stood out in the unbearable heat of summer. Find a seat in the shade and get to reading, and maybe put on some Depends. It’s gonna be hard not to pee yourself a little.
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The first post is from moi and after gaining the “summer 15” (it’s a real thing, yo), I wrote this because a) I need to slim back down and b) I needed some ways to remind myself why it’s a good thing to have boys with all their constant chaos and craziness. So in the interest of your health, here is 10 Ways Boys Can Help You Burn More Calories.
I Saw Tarzan and This is my Review After Some Wines by Emily Writes (Mama Said). “Alexander Skarsgard is Tarzan and he belongs to the women of the world.” I’ve read this piece at least 4 or 5 times because it makes me laugh so hard. I really should write more blog posts when I come home from various drinking excursions. I urge you to go read this and yes, it’s LOL hilarious even if you’re not drinking some “wines” but you should be anyway.
How My Failure To Participate In The Love Your Spouse Challenge Almost Destroyed My Marriage by Jennifer from Hahas for Hoohas. I admit I wasn’t sure where this one was going at first but the payoff is good. I challenge you to have a laugh at this “destroyed” marriage.
I highly recommend (Un)Motivational Posters for Parents by No Domestic Diva. She keeps me laughing consistently and this one is really funny. I love that she says “Expectations, it’s okay to have them, but make sure you’re setting them in the right place.” Read it, you’ll thank me after.
As a person who is not capable of using the self-checkout lane in the grocery store just out of pure anxiety that I’ll do it wrong and a huge line will form behind me, I really laughed out loud at Should You Use The Self-checkout from Abby Has Issues. She makes it clear that the requirements are very simple and therefore the vast majority of us are just fucking stupid.
For those of you who have a baby at home and are busy wondering WTF is wrong with you that everyone else walking around with a newborn seems so perfect and you are just a total hot mess, this one’s for you. It’s Not Just You from Hurrah for Gin. It’s mostly illustrations but it is just so on target, you’ll feel better in the 2 minutes it takes you to read it (and the 2 mins you have before your freaking baby starts crying again). And while we’re here, if you haven’t discovered these things that were my savior with my second child, get them NOW. They’re almost impossible to lose and really, what more do you need in a paci?
Jen of People I Want To Punch In the Throat can always be counted upon to make me do a spit-take. Her latest? Signs You Might Be A Suburban Mom. My favorite? You have a chandelier in your laundry room. Who the eff has a chandelier in their laundry room? People who need to do some volunteer work, that’s who. Although I do like this idea:
The internet almost broke the day I shared this from reddit user NorthSideBurghler. I guess after seeing all those adorable back-to-school signs, you were all ready for a big dose of reality from this kid who refused to hold a sign unless it said “I hate school.”
A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine was out shopping and texted me a photo of some new jeans from Levi’s. The tag legit said “Wedgie Fit Jeans.” I thought it was a joke. It was so not. So I investigated and wrote Wedgie Jeans are a Thing Now. Apparently a lot of other people were as perplexed as I was because that post went a little bit nuts. Intrigued by the word “vagedgie?” Go read the post now. And go get them if you dare.
And finally, this was a real thing that happened to us at the pool this summer. I’m smiling just thinking about it. So if you wanna know the secret to ending fights between your kids, this is it. Just have “Uptown Funk” cued up on Spotify at all times.
So that’s it for this edition of Funniest Moms on the Internet. I hope you enjoyed it and want to stay around for more. If this is your first time visiting my blog, go on and read Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms, Honest Wine Labels for Moms and just for a little inspiration Don’t Vajazzle Your Vagiggle Jaggle and 20 Other Things I Wish I’d Known When I was 20.
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