But a series about LIES would be nothing without the ones we tell other people. The easiest one to come up with? Lies Men Tell Women. I might’ve heard a few of these in my many years of dating. Like 3 million times.
1. I aced my SATs.
2. I was in a band.
3. I don’t really like big boobs.
4. I’ll call you.
5. I played a little football in college.
6. I wasn’t looking at her.
7. I could beat that guy’s ass.
8. I’ve slept with a LOT of women.
9. I’ve only slept with 2 women.
10. Your butt doesn’t look big in those jeans.
11. You’re the best sex I’ve ever had.
12. I lift weights.
13. I don’t watch porn.
14. I love your cooking.
15. I don’t masterbate.
16. We’re not lost.
17. I can fix anything.
18. Strip clubs are stupid.
19. I don’t have a girlfriend.
20. I can’t sleep unless I’m in my own bed.
21. I’m stuck in traffic.
22. I’ve never thought about any of your friends that way.
23. I’m ready to settle down.
24. I can’t wait to meet your parents.
25. I’d be totally cool with you making more money than me.
I started out planning to make this a top 10 list but then I. Just. Couldn’t. Stop. But don’t get too upset, guys. Fair is fair. Lies Women Tell Men is up next.
In the meantime, I know you can think of at least 20 more lies men tell women without even straining yourself. I’m waiting… (oh sure, you’re stuck in traffic again, no problem…)