Comments on: Why I’ll Always Mourn The Daughter I Never Had.

By: Kristy

Kristy — Thu, 16 May 2013 19:57:27 +0000

Well, apparently I am meant to be a mom of boys. We found out this week that baby #3 is also a boy!! Yes, I’m happy and thankful that he is healthy, and I know I will love him just as much as I do my first two. But…it was definitely a hard one to swallow. I want that girl so badly, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle 4 kids, seeing as how I haven’t even tackled 3 yet. I’m starting to accept that it may never happen, but I still get sad thinking about it, which then makes me feel sad/guilty that I’m not just happy to have healthy babies. Ugh. I’m glad there are others who understand how I feel!

By: ashersmom

ashersmom — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 16:20:36 +0000

That is the thing, isn’t it? Just because they’re the sex you wanted doesn’t mean they’ll be the person you want. I hope she comes back.

By: Debra

Debra — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 05:16:13 +0000

I had a daughter. Like you I named her years before she was born. Dreamed about her, wrote a poem describing her. Then when she grew up she left. (Hopefully she will come back some day.) After her I had two boys–also like you–both I wished were girls. Both boys are still with me and amazing sons: strong, handsome, generous, brave. Having a girl is not always what it’s cracked up to be.

By: Robin Jingjit

Robin Jingjit — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 13:03:53 +0000

I knew without a doubt mine were boys, and I was so relieved. I was afraid of parenting girls, I think I thought of my own angst and mother/daughter stuff and didn’t know how I could do it all again on the other side.

At least we never have to deal with first periods!!

By: Sara

Sara — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 02:41:07 +0000

I can’t express how much these feelings echo my own. I have two boys, and could not possibly love them any more, but I am longing for that little girl. I want to shop in the little girls section, paint her nails, braid her hair, take her shopping for a prom dress, help her plan her wedding…maybe it’s just all superficial, but it’s not the same relationship that you have with sons. I’m pregnant with my third now, and we are still early, so we don’t know yet, but honestly, this is my argument for finding out before delivery. At our 20 week ultrasound they will tell me, and I would be lying if I said that I would not need some time to deal with the disappointment if its another boy. By the time the baby comes, I will be excited for another boy if thats the case. That’s why I have to find out. I could not bear to find out its a boy in the delivery room and have that moment tainted with my disappointment. I’m sure that sounds awful to people out there who are having trouble getting pregnant, or don’t have kids at all… Believe me, I’ve had 2 miscarriages, I get it. A healthy baby of either gender is a blessing, but it’s not fair to say we aren’t allowed to grieve what will never be. Thanks for the post. It’s nice to know that other moms feel the same way.

By: ashersmom

ashersmom — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:47:09 +0000

Ummm. I really look forward to combing out her hair while she wails, especially because I will still be recovering from my kindergartner wailing because I washed his hair. Could I maybe borrow her at a different time?

By: Kristy

Kristy — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:35:12 +0000

Will do! Fingers crossed!!! Haha!

By: Kellie E

Kellie E — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 16:55:03 +0000

I feel the exact same way. I have three boys and with my first I didn’t have a preference and with my second I just KNEW the tiny being growing inside me would be a girl. Nope. Then the third came along and even though I was kinda, sorta, secretly hoping it was a girl, I should have known better – a boy again. I love my boys with all of my heart and wouldn’t trade them for anything in the whole world, but to have a little girl would be lovely. I’m still young and have many baby making years ahead of me, but I’m not sure at this point how many kids I want to have and I have a feeling that no matter how many I do have…they will all be boys. : ) — Think Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. Yeah, I see my life heading in that direction.

By: Rachel B

Rachel B — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 15:00:38 +0000

I’m not sure how I ended up on your page today. Never been here before. Don’t know you from Adam OR Eve. A winding road of pinterest brought me here. Because I am a believer, I don’t think things like that ‘just happen’. Anyway, I think it’s normal for us to desire at least one of each sex. But I, like you, didn’t get the earlist start. Then, I have two beautiful, healthy boys..and 3 babies that went straight to heaven. When you begin “losing” babies you realize even more that each of their lives are such a gift. I have a desire for a girl too, but I don’t know if that’s in God’s plan for us or not. Oh well, there’s always adoption.

Thanks for the good read. It provoked thought and refocused my perspective…again. I always appreciate authenticity!

By: ilikebeerandbabies.com

ilikebeerandbabies.com — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:52:10 +0000

A: Your boys names are awesome. I have dreamed of having a boy named Asher since the coolest (in a so non-cool, outsider way) kid in my high school’s name was Asher Emerson.

B: You can borrow mine if you want. Only when it is time to comb her hair after the bath though. EPIC CRYING COMMENCES!