10 Signs Your Husband Is Too Comfortable With You.

This week, I presented another post in the feature, “What He Said, by Mike.”  This one about how to know when your wife has gotten too comfortable with you.  Mike presents valid arguments like she wears sweats and socks to bed and offers a complete lack of grooming down below…IF she offers anything.  Am I guilty of some of those things on occasion?  Perhaps.

10 signs your husband has gotten too comfortable with you - Toulouse & TonicBut of course, we can’t do one side without the other, so today it’s all about those signs that your husband has gotten too comfortable with you. But none of these are about YOU, honey.  No, not YOU.

1.  When you first met, his “lounge-wear” was a sexy pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt that matched his eyes.  Now it seems the only “comfortable” piece of clothing he owns is those  hideous, baggy, ginormous nylon gym shorts he puts on as soon as he gets home from work and wears all weekend long.  You secretly harbor plans to “disappear” them next time that ball sweat-smell finally lands them in the laundry room.

2.  Remember back when he was brushing his teeth or popping listerine strips before every kiss?  Probably not because it’s been so long.  Now he doesn’t bother to brush his teeth before planting one on you in the mornings, making you swoon for entirely different reasons.

3.  There was a time that he quietly snuck off to the bathroom, turned on the fan to drown out any noise and lit a match and sprayed room deodorizer before he reappeared.  Now, bathroom visits are followed by a loud “WHEW!” and further announcements about how well it did or didn’t go, how much it stinks in there, and/or how much less he weighs now.

4.  That man that used to hold your hair, get you water and hold a cold compress to your forehead when you vomited?  Now he just yells, “Let me know if you need something” from the other room without even pausing the game.

5.  Oh the romantic candlelight dinners at the fanciest restaurant in town!  Now the only places he ever takes you out to dinner involve groupons.

6.  His man-grooming used to put him in the same league as Ryan Seacrest but now you’re keeping regular company with strange pubic-like hairs that protrude from his nose, back and neck.

7.  Back in the day, you were certain your man was one of the few people on earth with no gastrointestinal issues.  Now burps and farts are dealt wherever he happens to be standing and he can’t be bothered to even say “excuse me.”  In fact, he often laughs, waves his hand in the air and says, “Whew, that STINKS!” as if he’s proud.

8.  He’s standing in front of you discussing plans like what you wanna do for Spring Break, just like the old days.  Except this time, he’s digging in deep and scratching his under-balls without even noticing it.

9.  Remember back when he always had to have a hand on you, even when you were both just lounging in front of the TV?  Now that hand is perpetually down his pants instead.

10.  Opening the door for you and pulling out your chair have given way to pounding on the bathroom door yelling, “Are you ready yet?” and “What is taking so long in there?” then “warming up” the car, racing the engine and blowing the horn while you finish getting ready.

Husbandtoocomfortable
Do any of these sound familiar?  Has your husband asked you to pluck a nose hair for him or shave his neck?  Ick.  Double ick.

If you can think of any more signs your man has gotten too comfortable with you, add them in the comments.  I bet we can bump this list up to at least 30.

If you like this, go ahead and pop your email addy into the little subscribe box below.  That way you’ll never miss a post (only 2-3 per week) because they’ll come right to your inbox.  Go ahead, get comfortable here.  I bet your farts smell like rosebushes anyway.

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Comments

  1. I see you’ve met my husband!!

  2. OlympicMom says:

    Way back when, he showered me with thoughtful birthday, Christmas and anniversary gifts that screamed “I’m paying attention to what you look at when we go shopping or what you talk about” and surprised me with gifts for no particular reason. Now, God forbid he looks for anything I may like. If he even remembers special occasions, he will just ask what I want and make me wrap my own gifts or tell me to go buy it myself.

    • ashersmom says:

      I almost enjoy being told to just get what I want for occasions. Saves me the trouble of returning stuff. ; )

  3. Ha- my boyfriend and I have only been dating 9 months and a lot of this already applies. Should I be scared?

  4. Baaahahaha #3.
    But he’s always announced it. Guess that’s why we had three boys. They are all very proud of their… “achievements”.
    Such a funny post!!

  5. Loved all of these. Hubs and I got married on his birthday and can you believe he’s forgotten the anniversary twice now? WTH? I have clipped his hair, shaved his neck and back (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth), pulled out a nose hair or two and even popped a few zits. Isn’t marriage sexy??? He asked me the other night to clip his toenails to which I said Hellllllllll No!!

  6. If your husband asks YOU to make your own birthday cake.

    When you were first married and you {heaven forbid} made the bathroom stink, he never said a word. Now he posts about how much it stinks on FB.

    When your hubby asks you to pop his back zits…

    These are too easy. HOW long did they say marriage lasts again?? 😉
    Love this list. Hilarious!

  7. Delia Fairchild says:

    Love it! My husband to a T. I always know when to wash his sweat pants that he refuses to put in the dirty laundry when they start sinking up the room like ball sweat. Love your term of “under balls”

  8. I kept finding myself going, “Ah, yes! THAT one!” on EVERY SINGLE ONE. So, I guess I just need to say…YES. I get it. 🙂

    • Um, sorry about the ALL CAPS. Apparently SOMEone needs to stop drinking wine while blog hopping…:) (I’m not drinking wine today, by the way…I just feel like they apply here. Haha)

  9. He blows his nose, then opens the tissue he just used and spends and extended amount of time inspecting the contents. He occasionally even tells me I should see it.

  10. You described my husband to a tee. I started reading this to him, but he got defensive and starting listing the too comfortable things I do – I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

  11. Hahaha! Men…. some days I’m shocked we don’t sell them to the gypsies. (They probably wouldn’t take ’em either.) Came over from Finding the Funny.

  12. Okay, yes, my husband asks me to shave his neck. And every time, I always ask him what he did before we lived together. And why can’t he still do that now? One big thing that’s changed is that he doesn’t even bother to zip and button his pants up after making a trip to the bathroom after a certain point of the day.

  13. When my boyfriend and I moved in together (we were already comfortable at this point), we had our own tube of tooth paste. After about a month (when he got comfortable LIVING with me) I noticed that his tube was still full, as I needed a new one. He obviously was not brushing or barely brushing.

    We not share a tube of tooth paste and it lasts until I need a new one, emphasis on the I.

  14. Priceless! And so true.

    If I were to throw out another sign, I’d say the transition from blowing his nose in a tissue to blowing his nose in the shower. I’m always so grossed out by that. 😡

  15. No. 3, No. 3, definitely No. 3! And #7 They ARE proud, sadly.

    • ashersmom says:

      Sigh. I know. Because there’s nothing in my house but males (besides me, of course). So there’s a lot of bathroom action and way too much pride about it all.

  16. none of these things bother me…

    it’s when he turns into a 13 year old and sits in front of the computer gaming from the minute he gets home from work until i MAKE HIM go to bed so he can get up for work in the morning. not to mention that i make dinner for us and he insists on eating it at the computer desk…

  17. Ain' this some Mess . . . says:

    or the other word I wanted to use when I saw my husband of 12 years — just roll down the window while we are riding down the highway — THE HIGHWAY– makes the deep in the throat noise and spit Spit . .. SPit… SPIt >>>SPIT out the window. Imagine my face and stomach as I watched the saliva and other contents paste a design on the back window from the driver side…. that was the moment I said and I quote– “O’kay, wait a minute! You my friend are getting way too comfortable with me! 12 YEARS and now he is letting it ALL out of the box…. I am going what the HEL# is wrong with you!

  18. Samantha says:

    My husband obssessively picks his nose when hanging around the house. I’ve seen him get his whole pinky up there! Then after carefully inspecting his treasure and asking my opinion on it (which I refuse to give because that’s DISGUSTING) he wipes it on whatever’s close by…the couch, coffee table, dinner plate, his shorts or on a few occasions his teeth. I’m married to a five a year old.

    • ashersmom says:

      I’m seeing how my 5-year-old acts about farts, burps, nose-picking and such and seeing that it starts when they’re little and they NEVER outgrow it. Sigh.

  19. How about asking me for help to remove his skin tags.lol

  20. Finally someone who can understand my frustrations with the following…In the last year my husband as started farting in his sleep. To top it off, he occasionally moans afterwards. It’s funny and cute to hear my 7 mo old baby pass gas in his sleep, not my 29 year old husband!

  21. UGH I’m so right there with you on at one!! Let me just add, he now flicks his boogers out the window! I mean srsly how am I supposed to act like I didn’t see you pick your nose know when you don’t even have the courtesy to pretend you didn’t do it?!

  22. I love this! What about when they throw their dirty clothes in the general vicinity of the hamper and think that totally counts?

  23. Been married for 3 years, lived together since we started dating fine with everything on this list (because lets face it I am far from perfect) but the other day he got out a kidney stone he had passed and saved for over a year and started picking it with the zit popper tool. SICK! I LOST IT! Why the hell was the kidney stone even saved? Why would you pick at it? Gross, gross, gross!!!

  24. He asked me to pop a pimple on his back the other night! I was totally grossed out and he insisted that I pop it. I felt bullied!

  25. Why the hell is it so difficult for them to put clothes in the hamper?! It kills me! He keeps a pile of stinky shit on the floor by his side of the bed. I hate it! I’ve even told my therapist about it. .I can’t function like this.

  26. hey! my husband is two timing me with you! LOL

  27. loungewear = underwear, a dirty shirt, dirty socks
    i got a detailed poop report for years and years, i think my protests finally registered a few years ago and he stopped describing his poop and pooping processes in prolonged detail, either that or i have totally tuned him out. i am however still regularly updated on his other bodily functions, sensations, quirks and discomforts, multiple times daily.

    when we first met he interrupted everyone constantly, saying, if i don;t say this now i’ll forget it. now we no longer have friends who don;t accept this habit, i no longer can think of anything to say most of the time, i seldom share my thoughts, and it doesn;t bother me that much anymore. i don;t know if he ever noticed i had anything to say. although, after 13 years, he has begun to show an occasional interest in my thoughts and opinions, ironically now that i no longer care or have much to say.

    if i don;t want to wait on him hand and foot i have to leave the room. this has improved. he used to summon me constantly unless i left the house.

    i can;t remember when i ever have been alone in my house other than when he is in the hospital. i can;t remember the last time he left the house that i didn;t accompany him.

    after years and years i finally gave up protesting him inviting 80 lb dog, onto the bed, and gave up asking or even hoping he would ever change a sheet. i think he originally justified this because the cats hollered all note unless they were allowed in the bedroom. i have to remove my pillow and blanket as soon as i get nup unless i want the dog to immediately plant her butt on my pillow and start licking her butt–on my pillow. getting it all wet with butt-licking spit. he used to wait till he thought i was asleep to invite her onto the bed. like i wouldn’t notice another 80 lbs in the bed.

    i can’t remember the last time he put away his own clothes. i’ve tried not doing it. they just pile up.

    i am TIRED.

  28. i now pick my nose, clip my toenails, burp and fart when and where i please. i’ve earned it.

  29. evildemoncar says:

    O.o Wow………I never realized how many of you were married to what I just read. I found this and promptly showed my wife because I got a complete kick out of it. I asked her if any applied to me (of course some of them did) and I am trying to rectify those shortcomings. It’s a shame that more husbands do not realize or care about the pain and strain they put on a relationship. ……….then they wonder why their wives stray. Mine did because of not feeling respected and always feeling belittled. I was unaware of all this until I caught her and I must say the road to recovery is not easy but with her guidance, I am becoming more of the caring and compassionate husband I should have always been. Together 12 years, married 4 with three wonderful children:-)

  30. How about when he used to do his “business” in the bathroom, in private. But now he does it at the computer in an open room. Like I really want to see that, or hear it for that matter. Eww. Even when discussed about it and mentioning it quite openly and directly to go to the bathroom to do your daily thing, but still doesn’t. Yeah. That’s my life every night. I guess anime and other computer things are more his speed than I am.

    Or how about when he used to get up some foreplay, be sweet on the approach so to speak, but now it’s a tit grab and a “let’s f**k”. Yeah, this is also my life.

  31. That is why there are date days, date nights, that you put the wild side back in your live. If anyone has this problem look up dating diva’s. You might need to get in touch with life again.

  32. Um, yeah. I’ve known my husband 50 years (yup, you read that right), and been married 30 of those. I thought he was overly comfortable with me, but you’ve all got me beat! Not saying he doesn’t do some of those things (yeah, he has NO qualms about stinking up the bathroom and sharing about it, for sure), but he does still hold my hand instead of his balls while we’re watching TV (sometimes) and, if he feels the need to hawk up a luggie (what IS it with men and spitting), he will say “sorry” more often than not.
    As far as what he does in his sleep, well let me tell you about that. He went hunting for a week with a friend, who was also my boss at the time. Said boss came back and said “How can you sleep with him? Between the farting, belching, snoring and mumbling, he’s too noisy.” Yup, that’s my hubby, alright, a symphony every night!

    • So funny! Mine doesn’t do all of those things but he does do a lot. luckily he makes up for it by being a pretty all around awesome guy. sounds lil yours is similar! Thanks for commenting!

  33. jennifer doxakis says:

    How about helping him “dig out” his plantars wart after he has taken off his nasty sweaty sock? Or stands up and bends over in front of me with pants down asking me to scratch his rear opening because “he doesnt have nails to do it” EWWWWWWWW

  34. Once my husband asked me to plugged all hair from the area around his butt hole and I did it but only that one time.

  35. Yep, all is very familiar alright! The nose picking all the time, farting in public places are the worse! Here’s another one! Luckily, hubby and I are beyond the age to have young ones at home because he sits around the house nude all the time, and lately he sits pulling on a certain private part of his. When I give him an annoying look, he says he read that it helps “messaging” and stretching the veins there. Come-on. Just leave the room already and get it done! Geesh!!!

  36. My husband likes his privacy while in the bathroom. Thank god for that. I occasionally get a full report if something is abnormal. The socks balled up under the bed drives me insane. The most annoying is the ball scratching. We will be having a serious conversation and I wont be able to concentrate because he’s going to town down there. I’ve told him he’s got to stop that but then he insists that I’m jealous. Uh, no I’m not. Your just too comfortable in your surroundings my love. We’ve been together 17 years. He just started doing that within the last couple of years. I am far from perfect so I have leaned to ignore some stuff or ask him not to do certain things. That being one of them. All in all he’s a big sweet heart.

  37. Falenedeon says:

    well I find my self strangely comforted in knowing I do not suffer alone. Lol! I remember thinking when we first married, “surely he can’t be gassy like this all the time.”. Well I was right, but not in the “less” side of gassynes!

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10 Signs Your Husband Is Too Comfortable With You.

This week, I presented another post in the feature, “What He Said, by Mike.”  This one about how to know when your wife has gotten too comfortable with you.  Mike presents valid arguments like she wears sweats and socks to bed and offers a complete lack of grooming down below…IF she offers anything.  Am I guilty of some of those things on occasion?  Perhaps.

10 signs your husband has gotten too comfortable with you - Toulouse & TonicBut of course, we can’t do one side without the other, so today it’s all about those signs that your husband has gotten too comfortable with you. But none of these are about YOU, honey.  No, not YOU.

1.  When you first met, his “lounge-wear” was a sexy pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt that matched his eyes.  Now it seems the only “comfortable” piece of clothing he owns is those  hideous, baggy, ginormous nylon gym shorts he puts on as soon as he gets home from work and wears all weekend long.  You secretly harbor plans to “disappear” them next time that ball sweat-smell finally lands them in the laundry room.

2.  Remember back when he was brushing his teeth or popping listerine strips before every kiss?  Probably not because it’s been so long.  Now he doesn’t bother to brush his teeth before planting one on you in the mornings, making you swoon for entirely different reasons.

3.  There was a time that he quietly snuck off to the bathroom, turned on the fan to drown out any noise and lit a match and sprayed room deodorizer before he reappeared.  Now, bathroom visits are followed by a loud “WHEW!” and further announcements about how well it did or didn’t go, how much it stinks in there, and/or how much less he weighs now.

4.  That man that used to hold your hair, get you water and hold a cold compress to your forehead when you vomited?  Now he just yells, “Let me know if you need something” from the other room without even pausing the game.

5.  Oh the romantic candlelight dinners at the fanciest restaurant in town!  Now the only places he ever takes you out to dinner involve groupons.

6.  His man-grooming used to put him in the same league as Ryan Seacrest but now you’re keeping regular company with strange pubic-like hairs that protrude from his nose, back and neck.

7.  Back in the day, you were certain your man was one of the few people on earth with no gastrointestinal issues.  Now burps and farts are dealt wherever he happens to be standing and he can’t be bothered to even say “excuse me.”  In fact, he often laughs, waves his hand in the air and says, “Whew, that STINKS!” as if he’s proud.

8.  He’s standing in front of you discussing plans like what you wanna do for Spring Break, just like the old days.  Except this time, he’s digging in deep and scratching his under-balls without even noticing it.

9.  Remember back when he always had to have a hand on you, even when you were both just lounging in front of the TV?  Now that hand is perpetually down his pants instead.

10.  Opening the door for you and pulling out your chair have given way to pounding on the bathroom door yelling, “Are you ready yet?” and “What is taking so long in there?” then “warming up” the car, racing the engine and blowing the horn while you finish getting ready.

Husbandtoocomfortable
Do any of these sound familiar?  Has your husband asked you to pluck a nose hair for him or shave his neck?  Ick.  Double ick.

If you can think of any more signs your man has gotten too comfortable with you, add them in the comments.  I bet we can bump this list up to at least 30.

If you like this, go ahead and pop your email addy into the little subscribe box below.  That way you’ll never miss a post (only 2-3 per week) because they’ll come right to your inbox.  Go ahead, get comfortable here.  I bet your farts smell like rosebushes anyway.

  1. fishducky says:

    I see you’ve met my husband!!

    1. ashersmom says:

      Lol!

  2. OlympicMom says:

    Way back when, he showered me with thoughtful birthday, Christmas and anniversary gifts that screamed “I’m paying attention to what you look at when we go shopping or what you talk about” and surprised me with gifts for no particular reason. Now, God forbid he looks for anything I may like. If he even remembers special occasions, he will just ask what I want and make me wrap my own gifts or tell me to go buy it myself.

    1. ashersmom says:

      I almost enjoy being told to just get what I want for occasions. Saves me the trouble of returning stuff. ; )

  3. Kate says:

    Ha- my boyfriend and I have only been dating 9 months and a lot of this already applies. Should I be scared?

    1. ashersmom says:

      Yep, you should! Very, very afraid.

  4. Baaahahaha #3.
    But he’s always announced it. Guess that’s why we had three boys. They are all very proud of their… “achievements”.
    Such a funny post!!

  5. Loved all of these. Hubs and I got married on his birthday and can you believe he’s forgotten the anniversary twice now? WTH? I have clipped his hair, shaved his neck and back (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth), pulled out a nose hair or two and even popped a few zits. Isn’t marriage sexy??? He asked me the other night to clip his toenails to which I said Hellllllllll No!!

  6. AJ Collins says:

    If your husband asks YOU to make your own birthday cake.

    When you were first married and you {heaven forbid} made the bathroom stink, he never said a word. Now he posts about how much it stinks on FB.

    When your hubby asks you to pop his back zits…

    These are too easy. HOW long did they say marriage lasts again?? 😉
    Love this list. Hilarious!

  7. Delia Fairchild says:

    Love it! My husband to a T. I always know when to wash his sweat pants that he refuses to put in the dirty laundry when they start sinking up the room like ball sweat. Love your term of “under balls”

  8. Shay says:

    I kept finding myself going, “Ah, yes! THAT one!” on EVERY SINGLE ONE. So, I guess I just need to say…YES. I get it. 🙂

    1. Shay says:

      Um, sorry about the ALL CAPS. Apparently SOMEone needs to stop drinking wine while blog hopping…:) (I’m not drinking wine today, by the way…I just feel like they apply here. Haha)

  9. Mandi says:

    He blows his nose, then opens the tissue he just used and spends and extended amount of time inspecting the contents. He occasionally even tells me I should see it.

    1. Anonymous says:

      OMG, I hate that! What is expecting to find?!

  10. Dana says:

    You described my husband to a tee. I started reading this to him, but he got defensive and starting listing the too comfortable things I do – I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

  11. Andrea Arch says:

    Hahaha! Men…. some days I’m shocked we don’t sell them to the gypsies. (They probably wouldn’t take ’em either.) Came over from Finding the Funny.

  12. Okay, yes, my husband asks me to shave his neck. And every time, I always ask him what he did before we lived together. And why can’t he still do that now? One big thing that’s changed is that he doesn’t even bother to zip and button his pants up after making a trip to the bathroom after a certain point of the day.

  13. Momchalant says:

    When my boyfriend and I moved in together (we were already comfortable at this point), we had our own tube of tooth paste. After about a month (when he got comfortable LIVING with me) I noticed that his tube was still full, as I needed a new one. He obviously was not brushing or barely brushing.

    We not share a tube of tooth paste and it lasts until I need a new one, emphasis on the I.

  14. Priceless! And so true.

    If I were to throw out another sign, I’d say the transition from blowing his nose in a tissue to blowing his nose in the shower. I’m always so grossed out by that. 😡

  15. No. 3, No. 3, definitely No. 3! And #7 They ARE proud, sadly.

    1. ashersmom says:

      Sigh. I know. Because there’s nothing in my house but males (besides me, of course). So there’s a lot of bathroom action and way too much pride about it all.

  16. emily says:

    none of these things bother me…

    it’s when he turns into a 13 year old and sits in front of the computer gaming from the minute he gets home from work until i MAKE HIM go to bed so he can get up for work in the morning. not to mention that i make dinner for us and he insists on eating it at the computer desk…

  17. Ain' this some Mess . . . says:

    or the other word I wanted to use when I saw my husband of 12 years — just roll down the window while we are riding down the highway — THE HIGHWAY– makes the deep in the throat noise and spit Spit . .. SPit… SPIt >>>SPIT out the window. Imagine my face and stomach as I watched the saliva and other contents paste a design on the back window from the driver side…. that was the moment I said and I quote– “O’kay, wait a minute! You my friend are getting way too comfortable with me! 12 YEARS and now he is letting it ALL out of the box…. I am going what the HEL# is wrong with you!

  18. Samantha says:

    My husband obssessively picks his nose when hanging around the house. I’ve seen him get his whole pinky up there! Then after carefully inspecting his treasure and asking my opinion on it (which I refuse to give because that’s DISGUSTING) he wipes it on whatever’s close by…the couch, coffee table, dinner plate, his shorts or on a few occasions his teeth. I’m married to a five a year old.

    1. ashersmom says:

      I’m seeing how my 5-year-old acts about farts, burps, nose-picking and such and seeing that it starts when they’re little and they NEVER outgrow it. Sigh.

  19. Ruth says:

    How about asking me for help to remove his skin tags.lol

  20. Jenn says:

    Finally someone who can understand my frustrations with the following…In the last year my husband as started farting in his sleep. To top it off, he occasionally moans afterwards. It’s funny and cute to hear my 7 mo old baby pass gas in his sleep, not my 29 year old husband!

  21. Dana says:

    UGH I’m so right there with you on at one!! Let me just add, he now flicks his boogers out the window! I mean srsly how am I supposed to act like I didn’t see you pick your nose know when you don’t even have the courtesy to pretend you didn’t do it?!

    1. Toulouse says:

      Boogers??? I should not even know he HAS boogers. That’s my opinion.

  22. Andrea says:

    I love this! What about when they throw their dirty clothes in the general vicinity of the hamper and think that totally counts?

    1. Toulouse says:

      Or the balled up socks? one of these days, the balled up socks will be the reason I ended up in the asylum.

  23. jen says:

    Been married for 3 years, lived together since we started dating fine with everything on this list (because lets face it I am far from perfect) but the other day he got out a kidney stone he had passed and saved for over a year and started picking it with the zit popper tool. SICK! I LOST IT! Why the hell was the kidney stone even saved? Why would you pick at it? Gross, gross, gross!!!

    1. Toulouse says:

      Ummm, that’s disgusting. That might top everything on my list. Swat him with a rolled up newspaper next time and firmly say “NO!” ; )

  24. Brandi says:

    He asked me to pop a pimple on his back the other night! I was totally grossed out and he insisted that I pop it. I felt bullied!

    1. Toulouse says:

      Ummm, that’s nasty. He needs to grow longer arms so he can do it himself.

  25. Brandi says:

    Why the hell is it so difficult for them to put clothes in the hamper?! It kills me! He keeps a pile of stinky shit on the floor by his side of the bed. I hate it! I’ve even told my therapist about it. .I can’t function like this.

  26. tired says:

    hey! my husband is two timing me with you! LOL

  27. tired says:

    loungewear = underwear, a dirty shirt, dirty socks
    i got a detailed poop report for years and years, i think my protests finally registered a few years ago and he stopped describing his poop and pooping processes in prolonged detail, either that or i have totally tuned him out. i am however still regularly updated on his other bodily functions, sensations, quirks and discomforts, multiple times daily.

    when we first met he interrupted everyone constantly, saying, if i don;t say this now i’ll forget it. now we no longer have friends who don;t accept this habit, i no longer can think of anything to say most of the time, i seldom share my thoughts, and it doesn;t bother me that much anymore. i don;t know if he ever noticed i had anything to say. although, after 13 years, he has begun to show an occasional interest in my thoughts and opinions, ironically now that i no longer care or have much to say.

    if i don;t want to wait on him hand and foot i have to leave the room. this has improved. he used to summon me constantly unless i left the house.

    i can;t remember when i ever have been alone in my house other than when he is in the hospital. i can;t remember the last time he left the house that i didn;t accompany him.

    after years and years i finally gave up protesting him inviting 80 lb dog, onto the bed, and gave up asking or even hoping he would ever change a sheet. i think he originally justified this because the cats hollered all note unless they were allowed in the bedroom. i have to remove my pillow and blanket as soon as i get nup unless i want the dog to immediately plant her butt on my pillow and start licking her butt–on my pillow. getting it all wet with butt-licking spit. he used to wait till he thought i was asleep to invite her onto the bed. like i wouldn’t notice another 80 lbs in the bed.

    i can’t remember the last time he put away his own clothes. i’ve tried not doing it. they just pile up.

    i am TIRED.

    1. Toulouse says:

      You sound tired and you deserve a BREAK! Sneak out to a movie by yourself!!! I insist.

  28. tired says:

    i now pick my nose, clip my toenails, burp and fart when and where i please. i’ve earned it.

  29. evildemoncar says:

    O.o Wow………I never realized how many of you were married to what I just read. I found this and promptly showed my wife because I got a complete kick out of it. I asked her if any applied to me (of course some of them did) and I am trying to rectify those shortcomings. It’s a shame that more husbands do not realize or care about the pain and strain they put on a relationship. ……….then they wonder why their wives stray. Mine did because of not feeling respected and always feeling belittled. I was unaware of all this until I caught her and I must say the road to recovery is not easy but with her guidance, I am becoming more of the caring and compassionate husband I should have always been. Together 12 years, married 4 with three wonderful children:-)

    1. Toulouse says:

      Congrats on all of that! Glad you were able to work it out!

  30. KH says:

    How about when he used to do his “business” in the bathroom, in private. But now he does it at the computer in an open room. Like I really want to see that, or hear it for that matter. Eww. Even when discussed about it and mentioning it quite openly and directly to go to the bathroom to do your daily thing, but still doesn’t. Yeah. That’s my life every night. I guess anime and other computer things are more his speed than I am.

    Or how about when he used to get up some foreplay, be sweet on the approach so to speak, but now it’s a tit grab and a “let’s f**k”. Yeah, this is also my life.

    1. Toulouse says:

      I’m thinking you might wanna have a talk with that man!

  31. Di says:

    That is why there are date days, date nights, that you put the wild side back in your live. If anyone has this problem look up dating diva’s. You might need to get in touch with life again.

  32. Susan says:

    Um, yeah. I’ve known my husband 50 years (yup, you read that right), and been married 30 of those. I thought he was overly comfortable with me, but you’ve all got me beat! Not saying he doesn’t do some of those things (yeah, he has NO qualms about stinking up the bathroom and sharing about it, for sure), but he does still hold my hand instead of his balls while we’re watching TV (sometimes) and, if he feels the need to hawk up a luggie (what IS it with men and spitting), he will say “sorry” more often than not.
    As far as what he does in his sleep, well let me tell you about that. He went hunting for a week with a friend, who was also my boss at the time. Said boss came back and said “How can you sleep with him? Between the farting, belching, snoring and mumbling, he’s too noisy.” Yup, that’s my hubby, alright, a symphony every night!

    1. Toulouse says:

      So funny! Mine doesn’t do all of those things but he does do a lot. luckily he makes up for it by being a pretty all around awesome guy. sounds lil yours is similar! Thanks for commenting!

  33. jennifer doxakis says:

    How about helping him “dig out” his plantars wart after he has taken off his nasty sweaty sock? Or stands up and bends over in front of me with pants down asking me to scratch his rear opening because “he doesnt have nails to do it” EWWWWWWWW

    1. Toulouse says:

      Nope. Nope. Nope. Not happening.

  34. Anonymous says:

    Once my husband asked me to plugged all hair from the area around his butt hole and I did it but only that one time.

    1. Toulouse says:

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  35. Mildor says:

    Yep, all is very familiar alright! The nose picking all the time, farting in public places are the worse! Here’s another one! Luckily, hubby and I are beyond the age to have young ones at home because he sits around the house nude all the time, and lately he sits pulling on a certain private part of his. When I give him an annoying look, he says he read that it helps “messaging” and stretching the veins there. Come-on. Just leave the room already and get it done! Geesh!!!

  36. klaw says:

    My husband likes his privacy while in the bathroom. Thank god for that. I occasionally get a full report if something is abnormal. The socks balled up under the bed drives me insane. The most annoying is the ball scratching. We will be having a serious conversation and I wont be able to concentrate because he’s going to town down there. I’ve told him he’s got to stop that but then he insists that I’m jealous. Uh, no I’m not. Your just too comfortable in your surroundings my love. We’ve been together 17 years. He just started doing that within the last couple of years. I am far from perfect so I have leaned to ignore some stuff or ask him not to do certain things. That being one of them. All in all he’s a big sweet heart.

  37. Falenedeon says:

    well I find my self strangely comforted in knowing I do not suffer alone. Lol! I remember thinking when we first married, “surely he can’t be gassy like this all the time.”. Well I was right, but not in the “less” side of gassynes!

    1. Toulouse says:

      I don’t understand why guys seem to have so many more general GI problems than we do. But they do!

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