I have two boys, and even though I grew up with only sisters, I’m now in a male-centric household. It’s me, my husband, two crazy boys and a dog. At least the dog’s a girl. Solidarity, sister! <fist/paw bump>
Between the constant stinky feet, pee all over my bathroom and boogers wiped on my furniture, some times it’s worth it to sit down and actively figure out GOOD things about having all boys. My latest exercise in positive thinking? Having boys helps me burn more calories. It can work for you too. Here are 10 ways having boys can help you burn more calories.
1. Breaking up fights is a real energy burner, which is all I do from the time they wake up until the time they go to sleep.
2. You can forget about those sedentary tea parties or quietly moving dolls around a dollhouse. Keeping up with boys means you’re always moving. Just remember to move especially fast if they ever get too quiet.
3. You want them to go to the bathroom and brush their teeth? Pick up the titantic disaster that was once their bedroom? Help set the table for dinner? Best practices involve challenging them to a race. Tell them you can do it faster than they can, they’ll giggle and then try to cheat by getting a head start. Warning to competitive moms like me: let them beat you at least 3/4 of the time or this activity will turn into a meltdown instead of a productive, calorie-burning activity.
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4. Having boys means even quiet, relaxing activities like yoga can quickly become weight-lifting exercises.
5. You’ll burn an enormous amount of calories in the kitchen. There are several ways boys are helpful in this regard. First of all, you’ll work out cooking a great dinner and then they’ll refuse to eat that “disgusting” stuff and will have you hustling around trying to find something they will eat. When they hit about 8 years old (and then forevermore), you’ll feel the burn going back and forth to the refrigerator and cabinets constantly during meals and snack time (and even in between) to get them more food and more food and more food and more food because they Never. Stop. Eating. Seriously, my 8yo eats about 12 times more calories than I do yet weighs half. Logically, he should be the size of a bloated pregnant elephant.
6. They prioritize physical activity. This will help you do the same.
7. While you might picture reading to them at the end of the night a quiet endeavor, trust me when I say it’s a good end-of-the-day calorie burner for all of us. I struggle to read each page as I bounce all over the bed while they act out every scene. And most scenes involve some kind of fighting of course. (See number one)
8. Did you ever realize that playing musical chairs can rev up your metabolism? Boys love their moms so much, they love you “to death.” The constant fighting over who gets to sit next to mommy means you’re never sitting in one place for long. We have to rotate during movies, dinner and even while reading so each boy gets an equal amount of time. (What they haven’t seemed to figure out is I HAVE TWO SIDES!)
9. Your fitbit can reach 10,000 steps just from lunging at them to stop them from licking things. Please don’t ask me to explain this. If you have boys over 2, you already know what I’m talking about. If you don’t and they’re on the way, you’ll understand soon enough. Well, you’ll never really understand, but you’ll eventually come to accept this strange phenomenon — and then expend lots of calories lunging at them and yelling things like “Don’t lick the deck!” and “Stop licking your brother!” at them.
10. If they have the kind of senses of humor mine do (wonder where they get that from?), they’ll do things like set the alarm on your phone for 4:30 in the morning (oh yeah, it really happened) and once you’re awake, you’re awake. Pace the floor and curse at them out loud for the next 2 hours. They can’t hear. They’re sleeping like angels.
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