Some people can’t wait to become the woman that is their mother. Other women have spent their young lives thinking, “I’ll never be like that.” But guess what? You will. The minute you have a kid, it starts and before you know it – you’ve morphed into her. Wonder if it’s happening to you? Here are 21 ways to tell if you’re becoming your mother.
1. You say things like “Today’s music is just not as good as it used to be – no one can hold a candle to Flock of Seagulls.”
2. You yell your kid’s full name at him when he’s in trouble.
3. You’ve become a “mombie” and walk round with that glazed, disconnected look in your eyes all the time.
4. People have entire conversations with you that end with you saying, “Huh?”
5. You find yourself wishing food came in pill form.
6. You choose a car based on how many kids it can hold instead of how cute it is.
7. You find yourself muttering the phrase “Wait til your father gets home!”
10. You go to 3 separate grocery stores in one week.
11. The biggest luxury in your life is occasionally sleeping until 8am.
12. You regularly employ the Sniff Test – burying your face in a pile of clothes you find on the floor to see if it’s dirty dirty or just dirty.
13. Your shelves are now full of ceramic handprints and bad school photos instead of vases and Bridget Jones’ Diary.
14. You’re never in any of the photos because you’re always the one taking them.
15. You used to have 20 pairs of strappy high heels in rotation. Now you have 2 pairs of slip-on flats.
16. You never change purses and when you do finally clean yours out, you find a half-eaten cheesestick, a barrette and a small plastic dinosaur with a melted gummy bear stuck to it.
19. You’re the one everyone cackles at because you laugh like a seal.
20. You regularly utter the phrase “Don’t bother your father.”
21. You cry whenever someone says, “They grow up so fast.”
I have to admit most of these apply to me these days, but I still haven’t given in to the mini-van or the mom haircut.
I bet you can think of more signs you’re becoming YOUR mother. What are they?
I’d love to have you stick around so we can drink wine and convince ourselves we’re not becoming our mothers. Pop your email into the little subscribe box below and you’ll get an email whenever I write something new (1-3 times per week). No spam ever. Just me and you and our delusions.