Today’s post comes at a perfect time for my Mobile and New Orleans friends – and many others who celebrate Mardi Gras. We’re deep in the “throws” (hehe) of it right now and I can back up everything my friend, Annie, has written below. You just can’t get through the parades without a good drinking game when there are children involved. Just maybe don’t drink so much you lose them. I can tell you from experience, it’s reeealllly easy when you have a dasher like I do. Anyway, I sometimes call Annie a better version of myself when it comes to my kind of humor so I thought you’d like to hear from her. Be sure to like this post and let her know you appreciate it. Maybe she’ll write some more.
by Annie Strange
It goes without saying that everything changes after having kids – and that’s especially true for Mardi Gras. In fact, just yesterday my husband and I were reminiscing of our pre-children days.
“What would we be doing right now, before kids?” he said to me. I thought for a second and I said “well, it’s a non-parade day, so we’d probably be hungover from the night before…or still drinking”.
Before kids, there is so much time and space for debauchery, you easily lose yourself to the magic of the parade. After kids, of course there’s still fun to be had, but you also get to watch your kids’ eyes light up as each float rolls by, throwing magical beads, moonpies, and stuffed animals from heaven (usually from a dumpster – no REALLY – read this).
The hardest part though? The waiting. You want to get to a parade early enough for a spot on a barricade, but not so early that you burn out chasing your children before it even begins. For this, I’ve created a drinking game to help pass the time. Make sure you have plenty of beers or a large cocktail on hand, because this will certainly put you in the Mardi Gras spirit!
The rules are simple: just take a sip (or shot if you’re feeling crazy) whenever:
Your child whines for a cheap light up toy for sale
You or your child has to use a heavily soiled port-o- potty
You or your child eats a food on a stick
A motorcycle drives by
Someone jumps the barricade
Your kid asks when the parade is coming
Two sips/shots whenever:
You lose a child
A horse shits in the street
Your child gets stuck in the barricade
You see someone pre-beading
Your kid gets in a fight over a spot on the barricade (extra sip if they’re fighting an adult)
Your child tries to eat an old, smashed moonpie from the previous night’s parade
Finally, down a whole beer whenever you see someone walking around, confused, still in their tux/ball
gown from the night before. That person is winning at Mardi Gras. And now, so are you!
Be sure to share this game with every struggling parent along the route. And of course, make sure to
drink and parent responsibly (perhaps ask your babysitter to come along).
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