I know that sounds like a new dance but it’s not. At least, not yet.
Today, the little girl that broke my son’s heart decided after a couple of months that she wants to be his girlfriend again. He is ecstatic. Like soul-singing happy.
It’s strange because he talked about his broken heart for a couple of weeks after they broke up, then stopped. And suddenly over the last week or so, he started talking about it again.
It started with him talking about another girl he’s been playing with. We’ll call her Nancy.
“Who did you play with today at school, Asher?” I ask. Standard after-school talk.
“I played with Nancy during recess.” Quiet. Then a smile. “I think I’m in love! And I’m going to ask her to be my girlfriend.”
“Oh wow. I’ve never even heard you mention this girl’s name before.”
“Well, she’s nice, she has brown hair and blue eyes, we like to play puppy.”
God I hope that’s not a euphemism.
Then within a couple of days ….
“So are you thinking of asking Nancy to be your girlfriend?” I say as I slice bananas to make the boys the little peanut butter banana sandwiches they like.
“Nah.” Quiet. Chewing. Something unintelligible I can’t understand. Then “I really have to get Mary back. I’m just still in love with Mary. How do I get her back?”
I tell my dramatic little 8yo loverboy about how many boys mommy dated along the way and how if any one of those boys had loved me back as much as I loved a few of them, then I’d have married them and wouldn’t have met Daddy and wouldn’t have had my two boys.
“So maybe you get Mary back, or maybe you don’t. Maybe you try and understand that you’ll like many, many, many girls before you find the one you’re meant to be with.”
You are 8 after all, I say to myself.
The next day he comes home from school and says, “I had such a bad day. Mary still has her other boyfriend and I can’t stand it … but then I thought about what mommy said about all the tons and tons of boyfriends she had before she met daddy…”
Geez, kid, it wasn’t that many. Okay, yes it was.
“And I remembered that I shouldn’t be so sad about Mary. So I played with Nancy on the playground again today.”
“Well, good for you. Smart boy.”
Turns out he was even smarter than I thought. He came home today and he and Mary are once again boyfriend and girlfriend. It seems that he intuitively put that little concept in the mating dance we call “jealousy” to work for himself. I guarantee you it was innocent. He doesn’t think like that. But, it worked. And he’s as happy as he can be. For today. Asher + Mary = love.
The hard part is this. When Mary broke his heart (and it was his first broken heart), I wanted to call her all kinds of names, like say HUSSY. I wanted to go back to the school and maybe tell her off a little bit, act like the redneck mama I was born to be. But I didn’t. I definitely didn’t go to his school and act like an idiot and tell off an 8yo girl. But I didn’t call her names either. Well, not in front of him.
Because one thing I’ve learned as I’ve navigated the worlds of dating and of friendship and now of parenthood … exs often become currents again. Breakups don’t always last. But your words do. They stick in there like glue.
And there is no good way to backstep from HUSSY.
Like this? Subscribe to get new posts in your inbox.
If your boy is getting a little older now and you’re wondering how to help him understand topics like hygiene, puberty, how to deal with friends, siblings and parents, and other topics related to growing up, but aren’t ready for one about S-E-X, this is your book. We just bought this about 2 weeks ago and are finding it a valuable resource and perfect for his age.
*post contains affiliate links
Speak Your Mind