Last night, my kindergartner offered me a garish pink ring with a big crown on it and asked me to marry him. If I’m being honest here (honesty is important in a marriage), the ring isn’t really to my taste. But nevertheless, I found the whole proposal just beautiful.
And kinda creepy.
So I asked some of my friends to share the sweet-but-creepy things their little boys have said to them.
Prepare to laugh. And shudder.
Anna of My Random Handprints reported that her son also proposed to her but he went an icky step further and suggested that his sisters would make delightful flower girls.
Jessica of Four Plus An Angel can still hear her son’s voice echoing in her ears and feel the douche-chills creeping up her pelvic region. Her boy was listening to a heartbeat sound in a display at a science center and yelled across the room, “MOM, this thing sounds just like your BOOB!”
Once, when Rebecca of Frugalista Blog was getting dressed in her bedroom, her 4-year-old son walked in, rubbed her leg and said, “You’re so soft and pretty.” Awwww. Ewwwww!
Kerry of Housetalkn‘s boy had a special way of requesting she get sporty with him: ”I ball you, mommy?”
Ninja Mom’s son has a bit of an oral fixation on her. He enjoys surreptitiously licking her and when she asks him to stop, he says, “I like to taste you, mommy.”
And while we’re on sons using their senses in creepy ways on their moms, Anna of My Life and Kids 5-year-old constantly asks if he can smell her. He also requests to PLEASE play with his penis in the family room. Please God let those 2 sentences not be uttered back-to-back.
The same kid who just proposed to me once looked up when I was taking my bra off in my bedroom, yelled “UH-OH!” at the top of his lungs and ran over, put his hands under my boobs and pushed them back up where’d they’d been. (See “Where Boobs Belong“).
The entire 8 months I was pumping breastmilk for his baby brother, he constantly asked me to “Show him my booby,” and then to “show him my other booby.” (He had follow-up comments too – you can read them here.)
And yesterday, he came into the bathroom with a digital camera while I was showering and started snapping pictures of me. When I yelled for him to stop, he giggled mischievously, changed angles and took some more.
Okay, I’m tossing it to you. (ohdearlord please do not let “tossing” be one of the things a son has said to his mother.)
What ya got?
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