Heat up any party of one with these sexy Halloween costumes for moms! No time to shop for a costume for yourself now that you have your own Elsa, Anna, Olaf and Ninja Turtle to dress? No problem. These costumes are completely DIY. In fact, you’re probably ready right now!
*post may contain affiliate links
Toulouse & Tonic (aka where you currently are)
Every dad in the neighborhood will be lining up behind you in our sexy “Drive You Crazy” Carpool Mom costume. Its racy features include whatever funky pajamas you slept in last night, rat’s nest hair and a cup of tepid coffee. Rock it with a pair of therapeutic slippers and for our sexiest version yet, skip the bra! Lunch boxes your own.
Sold out in L, XL and XXL.
Be sure to have your fire extinguisher on hand when you’re dressed as our Blazing Hot Bakesale Coordinator. You’ll make their mouths water in our broiling hot brown and white polka dot apron complete with sugar-sweet bows on the pockets, a lickable batter-covered t-shirt – and yoga pants that hide all your naughty indiscretions! Add your own purple Uggs and muffin tin, then bend over that oven and make them drool for your goodies!
Set your washing machine to sanitize with our Dirty Delouser costume! If none of the other moms want their kids to play with yours, you’ll know the real reason. You’re just too damn hot in our fishnet stocking-inspired hairnet, specially patterned “lice-hider” apron and red hot rubber gloves that’ll protect your hands from all their dirty deeds. Itchy kid and reading glasses sold separately. Nit comb and half empty bottle of RID your own from the last time.
Also available in Plus Size for our Curvy Delousers.
She can’t answer the door right now, Mr. Plumber. She’s all tied up with the laundry! 50 Shades of Grey will have nothing on you when you spend a sizzling Halloween in your laundry room in our “50 Shades of Laundry” costume. The dinginess of the sweatshirt and the holes in your college sweatpants make this outfit the ONLY things clean in your entire house – including YOU! There’s an inner goddess in there somewhere!
Be sure to complete the look with your own bored housewife bondage fantasies and our life-sized cut out of Christian Grey.
One size fits the lowest common denominator.
You’ll be #1 (and #2!) when you out pout your toddler this Halloween in our “In The Line Of Doody” Potty Trainer costume! Slipping seductively into this costume is easy but getting out of it can take forever. But no one (else) will mind as long as you keep that captivating come hither look on your face and a can of Lysol in your hand!
Accessorize with the potty chair of your choice and a look of utter exasperation!
What’s that spooky sound I hear? Oh no, it’s a crying baby! And there she goes again in our Luscious Lactator costume. Check out all the striking details on this exclusive naughty nursing top, from our realistic looking regurgitation to our stay-fresh boob leakage! You can be sure your breastmilkshake will bring ALL the boys to the yard this Halloween!
Sweatpants available at the bottom of your laundry hamper. Finish the look with your own dark under eye circles and that special aroma of showerlessness and spit up.
Tease your man with the idea of getting a little on Halloween and every other night when you stretch out in our Sleeping Seductress costume. Will it happen? Maybe, but probably not. Because you nodded off again under the sultry Good Night Moon, you little minx.
Costume imported from your husband.
What’s sexier than a clean kitchen? Watching you load and unload in your Dirty Dishwashing Damsel Halloween costume! And best of all, you don’t even need to Trick or Treat because your pants are already full of all the candy anyone could want. We provide the candy pants and the dingy apron – single rubber glove your own.
Don’t touch that snooze button! You’re sure to be too exhausted to do anything about it but you’ll have your husband all riled up anyway when you usher in the morning in our tantalizing Tired Temptress costume this Halloween. Our fuzzy robe and your clinging child will provide all the stumbling blocks you need to keep to keep that man wanting more. Or just some.
You’ll be the cat’s pajamas in our Teacher’s Pet School Bus Stop Mom Halloween costume! Just listen to you purrrrr as your children board that big yellow school bus leaving you with 7 hours to be the bad bad bad bad housewife you are.
The look includes our “it’s getting hot in herrre” purple fleece pullover and fetching feline pajama bottoms that hide every curve. Complete this classic look with a tube of Carmex and all the great intentions in the world to actually be productive today.
Erin, 1/2 of the sexy blogging duo of Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
Whoa! Check out that equipment! Nobody’s scoring more than you this Halloween in our Sexy Suburban Soccer Mom costume. Kick off the night in our red hot double-layered team tee strategically lengthened to hide the stretchy waistband of those maternity jeans you’re still wearing even though your youngest is 2 years old. We provide the tee and the net, you provide the minivan and the balls!
So dear readers and new friends – I hope you got some great inspiration for your own sexy Halloween costume for moms. I’m just dying to see yours. Please share your own photo on my Facebook page. (Or at least go like it so we can laugh though all our holidays together).
Other than being big-time sexy, which takes up a lot of my time, I’ve also started my book. I’d love to be able to let you know when it’s available, so pop your name in the little subscribe box below and you’ll get an email whenever something new is going on. You can find the other incredibly funny books I’m a part of here.
In the meantime, I’m getting to work on my “Crying over baby pictures OMG how did you get so big?” Sexy Halloween costume for mom right now. We’ll save that one for tomorrow. TRICK OR TREAT, you sexy beasts!
New here? Sit your sexy ass down! Check out my favorite posts here!
Are you a sexy mom of Pinterest? Me too. Follow me here for all treats and none of the tricks! Well, there might be some tricks. I’m naughty.
Visit Toulouse and Tonic’s profile on Pinterest.