The Best Laid Birthday Plans Go Awry. #birthdayFAIL

This post is sponsored by Hallmark but, as always, the stories, thoughts and opinions are all mine.

2012 will forever be known in our household as the Year of the Preemie.  There was bed rest.  There was a 29-weeker.  There was the NICU.  There was an apnea monitor and a feeding tube taped to his face that lasted all the way to 2013.

We were so thankful, when on February 28, 2013 (over a year after his birth), Meyer passed his 4th swallow study (FAIL, FAIL, FAIL, PASS!) and we got to take out the feeding tube and let him drink from a bottle instead of dumping his milk straight into his chubby little tummy.

So you can imagine that after this 14-month ordeal where every single thing we thought or did was focused on our kids, Gabe and I were ready for a little adult-style celebration.  We chose my May 5 birthday (29th, of course) and bought tickets to Shaky Knees musical festival.  2 of my besties planned to join us for some serious festival fun.

Let me tell ya, there’s hardly any time nicer in Atlanta, Ga than early May.  The temperature is warm but not hot.  Skies are blue.  I knew my day would be celebrated with sun on my face, a beer in my hand and great live music!  Birthday heaven.

Finally!  May 5 dawned bright and sunny.

Nope.  Nope, it didn’t.  The day barely dawned at all — because thick, gray clouds were covering the entire sky and the temperature insisted it was February, not May.  To makes matters even more miserable, there was a nonstop downpour of rain.  Birthday hell.

But my friends were in town, our tickets were paid for, so there was nothing else to do but suck it up, put on a bunch of layers and rain gear and go.

I figured if I had enough birthday cocktails, I could make the weather go away.  Amirite?

#birthdayFAIL at a music festival

We tried really hard to make it work even though we looked like a wet box of crayola crayons.  See those forced smiles?  There are chattering teeth behind them.  Not even a couple of double margaritas could make me forget my wet, chilled bones.  If you’re counting, that’s 4 margaritas.  But who’s counting?

Miles of muck make for a #birthdayFAILAs good as it was to see my friends, my birthday turned out to be mostly misery.  We were freezing, dirty, wet and outta there.

Proving that sometimes the best laid birthday plans turn into a #birthdayfail.

Hallmark has some pretty funny examples of birthday fails on their Facebook page but my favorite by far is this little video from those freaking crazy Duck Dynasty guys.

You can see loads of other funny #birthdayfails on the Hallmark Facebook page here.

And after all this evidence, I’m thinking you should just go ahead and send a Hallmark card to all your closest loved ones for their birthdays because if all else fails, at least you’ve found a lasting way to say you love them on their birthday and always.

Hey, that was pretty good — I should write for Hallmark.  (Call me!)

Just to make sure you’re prepared for a #birthdaywin, I’ve got a 10-card pack of assorted Hallmark birthday cards (a $40 value) for one lucky winner.  Just leave a comment below and I’ll pick a winner Wednesday, November 27th.


This post is sponsored by Hallmark but as always, the stories, thoughts and opinions are my own.



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  1. Sorry your birthday was a bit of a bummer, but I agree that you should write for Hallmark!

  2. Hahaha! We’ve all had those #birthday fails, haven’t we? They say rain on your wedding day is good luck. I’m going to think the same goes for rain on birthdays!!!

    Love your blog!

  3. I have 2. First was when I deleted EVERY picture from my oldest child’s first birthday, which we spent in an apartment filled with boxes after my husband had just returned from a 15 month deployment. Huge moment and I lost every picture. 2nd was trying to make the same child a tie dye cake from pinterest and it was a lumpy, humpy, bumpy mess! It looked like our dog had pooped it out and I covered it in neon icing.

  4. ME! I never have cards on hand. I wanna win some.

  5. A 10-pack of Hallmark cards would definitely be put to good use! Thanks for the opportunity.

  6. Ha! Being that my birthday falls on Christmas, most people always assume my birthday is always a #FAIL. I couldn’t count the number of times that people have made the statement, “Oh, you’re a Christmas baby, that must be the worst day to have a birthday! I bet your parents loved it though, since they could combine your presents.”

    I never knew how to answer that when I was younger, my birthday was pretty spectacular, actually. But now, I just look at them and say, “Beats me, I’ve never been born on any other day.” That usually is enough to confuse them into changing the subject.

    And my younger birthdays growing up were awesome! Our holiday traditions were a little different than everyone elses. On the 24th every year (I’ve only missed 2… when I was born and when I was deployed) we head out to my grandparents farm in the evening for cake and ice cream before we head to their small, rural (go pee before we go, there’s only an outhouse and it’s pretty cold this time of year) church for the annual Christmas program. I think I’ve played every part in the pageant! I’ve had some really awesome cakes that my grandmother has made, but my favorite has to be the one from my 9th birthday. Grandma had not realized that she didn’t have any birthday candles, but being a resourceful farm gal, she solved the problem. Did you know it’s quite difficult to blow out 9 votive candles on top of your cake?

    Anyways, after church, we head back home (now to my parent’s home) to open up all the gifts that Santa has brought while we were at church… Yes, we happen to be on the early bird destination list for ol’ Saint Nick. This was always the best thing to brag to friends about at school following winter break! The rest of the evening is then filled with visiting with family and (everyone seems to know we have this tradition) friends stopping in throughout the evening bringing holiday cheer.

    Now comes what most consider the big day! Christmas has arrived!!! It’s changed a little from when I was younger… now this morning is usually spent catching a few extra hours of sleep to work-off the hangover from too much nog the night before. But, it use to be that this was the day for taking down the tree, putting up birthday decorations, and guess what…. I got more presents!!!

    So, does it suck to have a Christmas birthday? I don’t know… I’ve never been born on any other day. However, the person that probably does have a bad day for a birthday would be my brother. He was born on February 29th. Of course, he’s decided that that means most years he deserves to celebrate on the 28th and the 1st. We still love to give him trouble about not being able to drink till he’s 84-years-old.

  7. I had a preemie, too, but he was 33 weeks and 2 days so our experience wasn’t as difficult as yours sounds. That’s kinda a birthday fail: being born too early!

    Okay, some funny and not-so-funny birthday fails:

    1. Getting sent to my room during my 3rd birthday party for bratty behavior.
    2. Having to share every cake and party (and many birthday gifts) with my younger brother, whose birthday is exactly two years and two days after mine. Once my mom decorated the sheet-cake with two different colors of frosting: his & hers. I unintentionally blew out all the candles, his included. Got in trouble again.
    3. Thirteenth birthday: I’m at a new school and haven’t really established friends yet. I’m getting my period. I’m wearing a pad. My mom reserved the pizza parlor and invited all the girls in my new class to my party. She made me go through a spank line. And not just any spank line–the kind where you have to crawl on the floor. So, all the new girls spanked me on my pad. Awesome. I wanted to just go to my room then.
    4. My birthday and my brother’s birthday are right around Thanksgiving. So hardly anybody was ever in town to celebrate, and my mom called us Turkeys. I spent a lot of birthdays crying in my room.
    5. My mother also informed us we were BOTH conceived on Valentine’s Day. Or maybe her birthday, since it’s just a few days after. Just get a room, parents! And don’t tell us about it, k?
    6. My daughter’s birthday is two days before mine. So… who do you think gets the party and the presents? Answer: not the mama. There’s no room for it.
    7. A friend of mine killed himself four days before my 18th birthday. His funeral was on my birthday, which was also the day before his girlfriend’s birthday. The word “fail” isn’t big enough to have room for that.
    8. I couldn’t afford to fly home from college for my 20th birthday/Thanksgiving break. So… my mom sent my brother out to visit me. Surprise! Fortunately, I didn’t have to accommodate him in my dorm room since he spent the entire time with a couple of Freshman girls who’d gone to our high school. I ate Thanksgiving dinner in the cafeteria while he was at their party. Also? I had pink-eye.
    9. I held my daughter’s 6th birthday at one of those indoor-slides-and-balls places. I didn’t reserve the birthday room. All the parents were confused when they came in and asked for her party. I had to go up and pay for them individually (which was still cheaper than the room!), but I sure didn’t get points for class. Worse, the place had a policy against outside food and drinks, so I smuggled ours in under a pile of coats in the stroller. I didn’t have time to frost the cupcakes, and when I went out to the car to clandestinely frost them, it was so cold the frosting was hard as a rock. I ended up just putting a glob on top of each one. I had the parents line up in a semi-circle around the table to create a visual barrier so the staff wouldn’t see our clandestine cupcake eating. Wish I’d just rented the room.
    10. My 40th birthday is next Saturday. I’ve been trying to put together a party, but everybody’s out of town or busy because of the holiday. I may just spend the whole night with my husband in my room.

    There: now I’ve written my blog post for today! Just copy & paste…

  8. Laura Riker says:

    I had that mucky rainy say on my wedding day…my FIRST wedding, that is. I should have known it was a bad omen! 😉

  9. “When you care enough to send the best” Thanks Toulouse and Hallmark!

    Last month I went to a concert in the pouring rain too!! It was freezing and I live in Texas so not our typical weather either. It was a Foreigner concert and you should have heard the crowd roar into singing along with “Its as Cold as Ice” good times!!

  10. Aww that sucks! But at least you were able to spend your birthday with the people you love and who knows? I’m sure that celebration became memorable for everyone!


  1. […] Toulouse and Tonic inspired me to post my top ten birthday fails, but it’s so hard to pick just ten! […]

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