Top 10 Habits of Highly Annoying Facebookers

It’s time for another What He Said by Mike and this time he’s taking on Facebook. While Mike readily admits that he does most of these things too, he doesn’t think that makes any of them less annoying. Read on and let us how many annoying Facebook habits you’re guilty of.

The Top 10 Habits of Annoying Facebookers - What He Said, by Mike - Toulouse & Tonic1. Reply fishing – saying something like “I sure wish I hadn’t put that in my mouth” or “that didn’t go the way I thought it would” is just pathetic fishing so that people will ask you what you are talking about or show concern for your situation. Either post the story or shut up.

2. Standing on the Facebook stage to wish your kids a happy birthday – “20 years ago the Lord blessed me with the greatest gift in my life, blah, blah, blah”. We get it – you would actually be a shitty parent if you didn’t think that about your kid. Just be like other people and call your kid to wish them Happy B’Day, no need to let me and everyone else know.

3. Dinner is Served – so you’re out on the town, eating great food, in a trendy restaurant, congrats. You’re having Bobby’s Flay’s chipotle peanut butter infused Tiramisu. Brilliant! You’re the envy of all of us. Now if you were really so happy to show us all your culinary consumptions, how about a shot of the Kroger hot dogs and powder mac ‘n cheese dinner you had going the day before?

4. Tap the brakes – the friend who likes or posts a comment on everything you post – even I know everything I post is not quality so no reason to waste your time and mine by posting on my crappy statement with your equally crappy response or liking everything I write just because we knew each other in high school. Move on.

5. For a good time call – there are some things that are meant for one on one texting or a face to face meeting, not social media. Don’t be ignorant and post a FB status about how your ex is a big whore who is banging everyone. I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t care what’s going on, and …… well, if you have pictures of what’s going on I might be persuaded to follow this thread.

6. The Chameleon – People who change their profile photo all the time – just leave it alone already. I barely remember what you looked like so help a brother out.

7. You have 20,000 unread comments – there just has to be a way to post on a status and then opt out of getting bombarded with other comments posted on the family picture your friend just posted. I just wanted to let you know you have a beautiful family. Plain and simple. I don’t want to get pounded with “You have a beautiful family” comments from your 5000 other friends. After repeated posts from others saying your family is beautiful, I am leaning towards your family not being on the ugly side.

8. Pictures of body parts – Make sure you have good parts before you post them for all to see … no mangled hot dog toes on the beach, your tricked up nails, or your new hairdo because you want friends’ affirmations like “you still got it, girl!” and “so cute!” Seriously, does anyone ever post a picture of their new haircut, and have a friend post an honest comment like “You paid them to do that to your hair?!?!” “You look like shit!” Or maybe that is only my friends.

9. Look How Lucky I Am! – Really ?? You came home from work today and your beloved made you a dinner or mopped the floors for you?!?! Big F’ing whoop !! Some of our spouses do that shit all the time. Face it – you got hitched to the wrong person, so now you are looking to make all your friends think that you didn’t really married a lazy douche by posting that he/she folded your socks today. Good luck dealing with the next 50 years of shit with your mate doing what should be expected of him only one day a year. You want to be truthful ?? Then post the picture of his ever-growing pile of skid marked boxers that you have to wash with the caption “What the hell did I get myself in to ?!?”

10. The Elitist – I’m on Facebook, I generally like Facebook, and I get it – Facebook isn’t for everyone. But to come off as some elitist ass that says “I don’t have time for Facebook”. Really? The impact of the efforts you make during the day are so important that even giving up 15 minutes to cruise Facebook would cause world chaos ?? I don’t think so. There is also the “No, I am not on Facebook. If I wanted to stay in touch with you, I would have kept up with you all these years”. Maybe they didn’t want to keep up with you, ass. If you don’t do Facebook, just say “I am not on Facebook”, no reason to trash people who do.

Alright, which ones are you guilty of? I have to admit that according to Mike’s quiz, I’m not that big of a Facebook asshole.  How about you?

Speaking of assholes, you know you don’t want to miss any of Mike’s “What He Said” posts. (Sorry, Mike – just kidding, love ya!).  Pop your email into the subscribe box below to get an email whenever a new post appears on this blog.  It’s just 1-3 times per week and no spam, ever.  Stick around, otherwise we might talk about YOU. ; )

And while we’re talking about Facebook, let’s talk about instagram. Check this out – such a cool way to see behind the scenes of your favorite blogs. I’m doing June 24 if you want see the shit show that is the real Toulouse & Tonic.

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  1. No apologizes needed – I KNOW I am a complete asshole : )

  2. I cannot even believe it, because I am on FB WAY too much and I know I’m annoying…but none of these is me, thank God. Maybe I should try harder…

  3. Virginia G says:

    The continuous pregnancy updater. The spouter of urban legends and political diatribes that can easily be disproved with a 1-minute click over to snopes. The poster of anything designed to get people riled up about something that they never would have known about or gotten worked up over without your thoughtful post. The constant diet and exercise program describer. The poster of 300 vacation photos who doesn’t even bother to edit out the blurry ones or put descriptions on the pictures. Anyone who averages more than one post per day – an occasional overload is understandable, but that should be rounded out with long periods of not hearing about you. Anyone who gets upset enough over someone else’s political views that they feel the need to fight back instead of just “unfollowing” like any normal person would do.

    Ahhh, Facebook. What would we complain about without you?

  4. MeFromHere says:

    “Look how lucky I am” gets on my nerves during valentines. People in the worst, most toxic relationships, breaking up constantly, always going from “complicated” to “engaged” to “married” to “single”. Putting their entire business on Facebook forget that for the last 365 plus days we’ve all been reading the disaster that is their relationship & we’re supposed to be excited or jealous or IDK what? when at valentines they get flowers at work, get taken to a “fancy” meal, get jewelry, etc… I feel like saying “yay good for you, your relationship doesn’t stink one day out of the 365 days of the year, what a lucky gal you are” **rolls eyes**

    Another thing I can’t stand is when guys I’ve known since 2nd grade “friend” me & about three seconds after I accept their friend request their girlfriend, whom I’ve never in my life met, friends me too. My FB is public, you don’t have to friend me to check up on your man, who I never had any desires towards & now 12 years after high school & ten years of my very happy marriage still don’t have any desires towards. He comments on a picture of myself & my husband & she comments right after too. He comments on a picture of my children & she comments right after too. I comment on a picture of his family (parents & siblings whom I haven’t seen in over twelve years) she comments after me responding to my comment. My husband writes me a little lovie dovie comment on FB because my cell reception stinks & he can’t get a hold of me. “Hey baby, I called to hear your sweet voice but your phone went straight to voicemail again, I miss you so much. Thank you for hanging out with me this morning & making me coffee before I left even if you’re not a morning person, I love the effort you make, I love you!” The guy from second grade writes something like “Hey, Kate, I’m so glad you have such a great husband” right after he comments this, his wackadoo girlfriend attacks him on my page because she doesn’t feel “loved” in her relationship. Dude! Please guys, do us a favor if your significant other is batt shit crazy do not friend me on Facebook. True story. She then proceeded to send me private messages attacking her boyfriend. I was in one class with this guy back in second grade & he lived around the corner from my house but we never hung out. His Mom was my crossing guard, I knew her better than I knew him. Why his girlfriend thought I was the person to bring their drama to is beyond my reasoning. I copied her messages sent them to him asking him to talk to her about not involving me but he instead defended her behavior. I then told them both I wanted nothing to do with their mess & to leave me a lone (this was after a yr of this sort of nonsense) & blocked them both. Seriously. Some ppl need to be heavily medicated & not on Facebook.

    • Facebook is funny about things like increasing paranoia, don’t you think? And also encouraging people to brag all the time. I think that’s super annoying!

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