Top 10 Signs I Chose the Wrong Baby Daddy

This is a guest post by a friend of mine named Greta. She’s smart and funny and awesome and just happened to make a very bad choice in a Baby Daddy, so she thought she’d write about it for you. Did any of you choose the wrong baby daddy?

10 Signs I Chose The Wrong Baby Daddy

*post contains affiliate links. If you click through and purchase something, I may make a small commission at no extra charge to you which helps to support this free blog.

1. When the pregnancy test showed two lines, he asked if abortion was an option. We were married.

2. When my 5-year old was on a bicycle collision course, he stepped out of the way instead of rescuing him.

3. When hit with unemployment during the Great Recession, he laid his lazy ass on my sofa for two years.

4. Two years later when faced with a choice of going to counseling for depression or moving out, he chose to move out – 10 days before our child’s 7th birthday. Happy birthday, son! The cat’s in the cradle…

5. On the night I told him to make a choice, he shopped for apartments, watched porn and Facebook stalked my mom friends. The man was clearly devastated.

6. When moving out, he asked for the big TV and an antique bookshelf I’d bought for my son. I can only assume he meant to spend the vast majority of his time playing video games and reading “Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus.”

7. He calls our son Bro and Dude. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know his real name.

8. When I told him I was going clothes shopping for my son, he said, “Well, I will need some things for over here, too.”

9. When my son went to counseling for two years to deal with this shit, Baby Daddy didn’t ask anything about it. Not once in two years. But no judgement. Watching porn is a very time-consuming occupation.

10. My Baby Daddy hasn’t paid one penny towards the care of his son in the last five years. No clothes, camps, food, anything. He did buy himself a PlayStation 4. Oh, and he took my son to Legoland once. Wheee! Pat yourself on the back. You are one great Baby Daddy! NOT.

So what about you? Put your stories in the comments so those of you with terrible Baby Daddies can commiserate – and so Greta can feel better. She needs to know she’s not alone – and what a strong, awesome warrior mama she — and all of you doing it on your own — are!

(I know there are dad’s doing it all on their own too and I don’t want to slight you. You’re a warrior too, dude)

Subscribe to get new posts in your inbox (no spam ever). Follow alone on Facebook for hilarity all day long.

Like this? Then here are some other posts I’m sure you’ll enjoy. Read Honest Wine Bottles For Moms, Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms and The Top Ten Sucky Things  About Being Married to a Pregnant Woman (that one’s by Mike, not me – clearly).

Please like, comment and share so FB will show this post to my fans. It’s really, truly appreciated.

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Comments

  1. Victoria Tobin says:

    I would definitely suggest taking some English classes before posting anything else to the internet. If you need a lesson, feel free to contact me. Thank you.

  2. My baby daddy bummed $10 off of our 9-year-old and paid her back with winning scratch-off lottery tickets. At least he tried to pay her back, that one time.

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Top 10 Signs I Chose the Wrong Baby Daddy

This is a guest post by a friend of mine named Greta. She’s smart and funny and awesome and just happened to make a very bad choice in a Baby Daddy, so she thought she’d write about it for you. Did any of you choose the wrong baby daddy?

10 Signs I Chose The Wrong Baby Daddy

*post contains affiliate links. If you click through and purchase something, I may make a small commission at no extra charge to you which helps to support this free blog.

1. When the pregnancy test showed two lines, he asked if abortion was an option. We were married.

2. When my 5-year old was on a bicycle collision course, he stepped out of the way instead of rescuing him.

3. When hit with unemployment during the Great Recession, he laid his lazy ass on my sofa for two years.

4. Two years later when faced with a choice of going to counseling for depression or moving out, he chose to move out – 10 days before our child’s 7th birthday. Happy birthday, son! The cat’s in the cradle…

5. On the night I told him to make a choice, he shopped for apartments, watched porn and Facebook stalked my mom friends. The man was clearly devastated.

6. When moving out, he asked for the big TV and an antique bookshelf I’d bought for my son. I can only assume he meant to spend the vast majority of his time playing video games and reading “Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus.”

7. He calls our son Bro and Dude. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know his real name.

8. When I told him I was going clothes shopping for my son, he said, “Well, I will need some things for over here, too.”

9. When my son went to counseling for two years to deal with this shit, Baby Daddy didn’t ask anything about it. Not once in two years. But no judgement. Watching porn is a very time-consuming occupation.

10. My Baby Daddy hasn’t paid one penny towards the care of his son in the last five years. No clothes, camps, food, anything. He did buy himself a PlayStation 4. Oh, and he took my son to Legoland once. Wheee! Pat yourself on the back. You are one great Baby Daddy! NOT.

So what about you? Put your stories in the comments so those of you with terrible Baby Daddies can commiserate – and so Greta can feel better. She needs to know she’s not alone – and what a strong, awesome warrior mama she — and all of you doing it on your own — are!

(I know there are dad’s doing it all on their own too and I don’t want to slight you. You’re a warrior too, dude)

Subscribe to get new posts in your inbox (no spam ever). Follow alone on Facebook for hilarity all day long.

Like this? Then here are some other posts I’m sure you’ll enjoy. Read Honest Wine Bottles For Moms, Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms and The Top Ten Sucky Things  About Being Married to a Pregnant Woman (that one’s by Mike, not me – clearly).

Please like, comment and share so FB will show this post to my fans. It’s really, truly appreciated.

  1. Victoria Tobin says:

    I would definitely suggest taking some English classes before posting anything else to the internet. If you need a lesson, feel free to contact me. Thank you.

  2. Charity says:

    My baby daddy bummed $10 off of our 9-year-old and paid her back with winning scratch-off lottery tickets. At least he tried to pay her back, that one time.

Speak Your Mind

11205514_780557175393569_3754992084373442286_n
We're parenting. And we're laughing. Because it's better than crying.

Subscribe to my newsletter. I'm handier than a box of tissue

You have Successfully Subscribed!