Levi’s now makes wedgie fit jeans. And that’s not just how people are referring to them because of how they fit – they are made that way ON PURPOSE and even CALLED Wedgie Fit. They come with a high waist, a wedgie and tapered legs. So basically, Mom Jeans are actually in style. I almost said “again,” but I’m pretty sure they were never in style before. So Wedgie Fit Jeans are a thing now. But why?
Why in the hell would anyone want jeans meant to give you a wedgie all day long? It’s enough of a struggle not to have your jeans riding up in your ass as it is. Why would you do it on purpose?
One of my reader’s mom calls this look “walking and riding at the same time” which I think it priceless, especially from an 86-year-old woman.
I remember tight jeans being a huge thing in the 80s. People would buy the smallest size they could get into (and remember, they were all cotton then – no give at all) and then before going out in them, put them in the dryer to make them as tight as possible, then have to literally lay down on the bed to get them on and zipped and buttoned. Oh the chafing!
Then came the miracle of spandex mixed with denim and we could all breath again (although people with big asses and thighs like mine have always had to pick out wedgies here and there).
But for some reason, now Levi’s is purposefully making the Wedgie Fit jean – and apparently, it’s actually popular!
Levi’s Wedgie Fit jeans are billed as “the cheekiest jeans in your closet,” because each pair “hugs your waist and hips to showcase your best assets.” I still think they should be more honestly called “Camel Toe Fit” jeans or maybe “Vajedgie Fit.”
I do understand that today’s beauty culture in obsessed with the ass. It’s all about the ass. But geez. You can show off your ass without having a permanent wedgie. Try some nice jeggings that hug yet don’t spend their day trying to milk your anal glands.
Just think, with the wedgie fit jean, you now also need a thong so you don’t have panty lines – or you need to go commando. So now you have chafing of the highest order in the vaginal area. Is having big round ass cheeks really worth chronic yeast infections? Or duck walking all day trying to dig that shit out of your taint?
And the high-waisted thing? I will never think that looks good. I quit wearing high-waisted stuff when I was 10. It was still the “style.” But I figured out that nobody looked good in it and especially not me, and started wearing anything with an elastic waist around my hips instead. Of course, I couldn’t find jeans like that so I still had to suffer through high-waisted jeans for years until my beloved spandex started showing up.
Then of course, the waists of jeans started dropping to barely above the ass crack thanks to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Now we’ve come back up to a reasonable waistline. Not too low, not too high – and Levi’s has to go and do this.
One of my readers, Erica, explains the wedgie fit’s appeal like this: “It’s so those of us with small butts don’t feel left out. Levi’s seems to always leave a little extra in the tush, and girls like me look like we have diaper fit.”
Erica made me LOL. I can only imagine that DIAPER FIT is in development at Levi’s right now. Maybe us big-assed girls who want to look a little smaller will jump on that band wagon.
So in summary, I know the younger generation of girls loves Kylie Jenner. But remember, you don’t have to do everything she does (also this – I guarantee you she was paid to put that photo of her in the wedgie jeans on instagram). And while I’m at it, those HORRIBLE high-waisted shorts cut so short your ass cheeks are hanging out of them look the worst too.
No matter how old I get, I’ll be interested in style but like always, I’ll choose the looks that are for me and discard the ones that aren’t. So maybe Wedgie Fit Jeans are a thing now. But high-waisted pants are ugly as shit. Let the trend go. And when it comes to actually paying for a wedgie? Be sure that extra butt lift is worth it because you’re gonna need stock in Monistat as long as you’re wearing them.
— Toulouse and Tonic (@toulouseNtonic) August 30, 2016
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If you like this post, you should read Honest Wine Labels for Moms and Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms too. I also highly recommend Don’t Vajazzle Your Vajiggle Jaggle and 20 Ways I’m Making Sure My Future Daughter in law Loves ME.
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