Taking Bully Shaming To A New Level


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Bully Shaming

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote this post.

It was the end of Bully Prevention Month and seeing all the PSAs and activities all month sort of triggered me.

I realized that, although I don’t walk around thinking about the fact that some guy taunted me by calling me JAWS when I was a kid, I do still carry the scars.  I still cover the lower half of my face when I laugh.  I still try not to smile too big in photos.   I still try to suck in my cheeks sometimes.

So I decided to purge myself of that by bully shaming.

And it felt soooo good.

In the days that followed, I got to read bully shaming stories from quite a few other people.

Ninja Mom was dragged, facedown, around a baseball field.

Brenna at Suburban Snaps found a great way to tell her bullies to kiss her ass.  

Honest Mom turned the tables on her bully.

Ashley at It’s Fitting shared the story of a miserable year in Junior High school.

Stephanie of Binkies & Briefcases got the very best kind of revenge.

Dani at Cloudy With A Chance Of Wine was terrorized by a group of girls that made “Mean Girls” look like a church choir.

Lea at Becoming Supermommy was the target of so much bullying, she began to actually hurt herself.

And Kelley of Kelly’s Breakroom took a hard look in the mirror, wondering if she might have been a bully herself.

All these stories made me realize that I’m far from alone in my experience.  So many people suffer from bullying — some for a relatively short period of time, some for years and years.

One thing I noticed was that every story that was shared with me was about bullying by peers.

Except one.

Kerri of the blog Elbow Deep in Someone Else’s Shit (bravo for the blog title, btw) sent me her story.  The concept of bully shaming really spoke to her but she didn’t feel comfortable writing about it on her own blog for one very good reason.

Her bully was still, and always will be, a big part of her life.

Kerri wasn’t bullied by a peer.  Here, in her own words, is her story.

“I spent my childhood thinking I was fat, because that was what I was told every day. I thought I had no value beyond my personal appearance and therefore felt self-conscious and undeserving of love. I was painfully shy, and lived in fear of forgetting for even a moment to suck in my stomach. I thought that if I relaxed everyone would see the rolls I was trying so hard to keep tucked back. I was told over and over again ‘you can’t wear that because you’re not skinny like the other girls’ and ‘you know you’re not a medium, take the large’ and of course ‘if you would only change your diet you wouldn’t have that extra weight.’  I let these horrible words define me for many years.  You know what though? My bully echoed to me what she felt about herself.  Mom, I’m sorry you feel this way, because you aren’t fat and neither am I. Your words hurt.  Even now as an adult, they still come back to haunt me.”

I felt for her, and I wanted her to have the chance to share her story.  Imagine the pain of being bullied by the person who should be your biggest protector.

Which leads me to this:

Every person who shared their bullying story with me is a parent now.

And for me, that’s the really, really scary part.

I don’t know what I might be capable of if one of my kids is bullied.

I’m afraid I’ll be like this dude and end up on the news after taking bully shaming to a new level.

Here’s wishing for a bully-free world.  Can’t we all just get along?

 

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If you’re tired of being serious, you might like The Berenstain Bears:  Bitch PLEASE and 8 Signs Your Husband Might Be Annoying You Around The House.

 

 

 

 

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  1. Wow. This was so nicely done.

    Thanks so much for including my story.

    It breaks my heart to read these posts. It’s such a shame we can’t do something to ensure this crap doesn’t happen to our own children . . . because, like you, I do not trust how I will react if my child comes home and tells me she’s been bullied. It won’t be pretty!

    This is such an awesome cause. Thanks again!

    xo

  2. Wow, I can’t even imagine that. I thank god my mom was so supportive, but I too was bullied, by a girl and her mother who lived across the street from me when I was in grammar school. They tormented me so much that I ended up no friends for almost 2 years. It was awful and pray to god no one ever tries to do this to either of my girls, because I will come out swinging. My mom was more passive then I am and let me tell you I won’t ;et anyone hurt my kids like that. Thanks for sharing this here.

  3. Kerri ~ You’re not alone. My biological mother did the same crap to me. I am heavy set, but it took years to learn that I’m worth more than just my physical appearance. You are, too. It’s not our fault our mother’s insecurities and issues got projected on to us. I’m sure you’re an amazing, beautiful, wonderful woman. Stay strong.

  4. I’m not sure how I missed this when you posted it – but it’s awesome. Thanks for including me.

    My heart aches for Kerri. I hope she is finding peace after having a mother who bullied her for so long.

    Love ya, Toulouse. xoxo
    JD Bailey @ Honest Mom recently posted…When your kid wants you to be more like the babysitter, it’s so awesome, you know?My Profile

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