Toulouse, Author at Toulouse and Tonic

8 Reasons It’s Better To Be A Girl Than A Guy

May 21, 2014 by Toulouse 1 Comment

My friend Mike insists it’s better to be a guy than a girl. Go read it – I’ll wait.

Better to be a guy?? I say he be trippin! While I know there are definitely a few advantages to being a guy (getting paid more to do the same job, for instance), I still think it’s FAR better to be a girl. And here’s why.

1. We get a LOT more free drinks — from bartenders, from other patrons (okay, men), and of course, the good ole ladies’ night (ever heard of a gentleman’s night?). You’re out for your drinks at full price and whatever girls’ drinks you’ve been hitting on. Plus you paid to get in, amirite?

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Funny Lists, rants, What He Said Tagged With: boyfriends, free drinks, girlfriends, girls, guys, husband, makeup, men, wife, Women

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The Vacay Foods Variety Show!

May 20, 2014 by Toulouse 1 Comment

Remember when I told you about Vacay Foods – the vacation grocery delivery service along the Emerald Coast of Florida that I’m so excited about?

Well I’m heading over there myself soon so I went back to the website to put an order together and after clicking around a bit, I discovered they have a better gluten-free section than all 3 of the grocery stores I typically have to go to in a week to get my supplies.

Several years ago, we discovered that Asher couldn’t eat gluten and by the time Meyer came along, Gabe and I were also gluten-free so now our whole family is. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Reviews/Sponsored Posts Tagged With: beach, Florida, grocery delivery, vacation

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5 Things I Thought I’d Never Let My Kids Do in Public.

May 19, 2014 by Toulouse 25 Comments

Back when I was engaged and preparing to move, I had a giant garage sale. Friends came over to “help” but really to drink Bloody Marys and hang out.

In the late morning, a lady showed up with her kid who I’m guessing was about 5 or 6. She proceeded to take her own sweet time browsing through all my merchandise whilst ignoring her son completely.

Said kid was pretty hard to ignore, seeing as how within a few seconds, he’d found a foghorn I had for sale and was running around like he’d recently consumed 3 gallons of Go-Go Juice blowing the hell outta that sucker nonstop. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funny Lists, Mommy stuff, rants Tagged With: biting, fighting, foghorn, garage sale, go-go juice, hitting, kids, pajamas, parks, peeing, public, pushing, restaurants, shoving, Target, toys, trees, waiters

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You’re So Beautiful

May 13, 2014 by Toulouse 2 Comments

“I can’t stop staring at you because you’re so beautiful.”

It’s been quite a few years since a boy told me that. It’s probably just coincidental that the phrase seems to have died with my habitual presence in bars 8 years ago when I got married. The weird thing is, I’m not sure I even noticed it was missing from my life.