baby Meyer
One of those things is spending time in the NICU visiting my newborn baby, mostly sitting beside his incubator staring at him and sticking my hand in to cradle his head. It feels pretty strange to have a baby, then go home without him. And not be able to hold him. And have to drive to a hospital to see him.
And then there’s the constant pumping of the breast milk, which is really confusing to my boobs since they can’t seem to locate the baby they’re making milk for.
The other weird thing I thought I’d never do again is, ahem, go to Chuck E. Cheese.
Which I did Saturday.
For some reason, I find it embarrassing to even admit it.
Apart from their less-than-mediocre pizza, deafening noise level, embarrassingly pitiful “stage show”, and the constant spread of rhinovirus to every available surface by grimy little hands, I guess it’s not so bad.
But sometimes, as a mom, you find yourself doing a lot of things you never thought you’d do.
Like getting excited about going to a new playground.
Freezing your butt off at a Christmas parade just to see a dime-store Santa ride by on a float after enduring 2 hours of baton twirlers and giant cartoon character balloons. With no alcohol.
Spending 3 hours at an inflatables place just to occupy your kid.
Or knowing what an inflatables place is.
And yes, going to Chuck E. Cheese.
Gabe and I find ourselves embracing a new philosophy after my stay in the hospital and our new son’s premature birth.
Whereas we used to do a lot of things separately on weekend days, just to give each other a kid-break, now we want to do things as a family. We want to be together.
Crazy things happen. You have no control over them. They swoop in from who-knows-where and mercilessly smack you on the back of the head.
You can’t do anything but haul your dizzy self up and keep on walking.
But sometimes you change directions a little.
We can’t have our whole family together right now, except for those few moments when we take Asher into the NICU to visit Meyer. They’re brief, brief moments. Because 4-year-olds are not particularly welcome in the NICU.
But we grab them when we can.
Weird stuff happens. Some of it big, some of it little.
You find yourself in places you don’t want to be.
Like hospitals.
And Chuck E. Cheese.
My advice for surviving both places is neither deep nor philosophical.
Don’t eat the pizza.
They both have terrible pizza.
An “inflatable place” LOL! Thinking of y’all (in lieu of praying since I don’t think anyone’s listening. I’ve probably burned those bridges hehe…. It’s the same thing though!). Hang in there. Someone told me it gets easier… New experiences are what life IS!
I can promise you I never knew these places existed before I had a kid. Now I think they’re ingenius. When I take him to “Leapin’ Lizards,” he disappears into the jumpy houses and leaves me completely alone for about 2 hours. My only complaint is that they need to make those places more adult friendly. Put in a nice coffee shop. Some comfortable chairs. A bar. We’d be there every day.
Nearly every place in Portland has a bar. Yes, even the jumpy places.
I’m thinking this is a FANTASTIC business idea!!! I’d go at least 3 times a week if there was a bar!
Having three daughters, I found myself spending a huge amount of time (10 years) at the ballpark…without playing a single game. But, I made all of their practices, all their games, and many “work days” that they didn’t have to be there. In all, I was still proud to be there- not just with them… but for them. We may have children “for us”, but we made it a family for them. And, they’ve made it a family for us. I wondered about your sanity in having children late in life (who knows what late really is, right?), but I’m glad that you’re old enough to enjoy them without worrying so much about how you’ll be able to afford them. I’m sure that it’ll make a big difference. So many people miss out on their kids lives because they’re so busy working to give them “things”. Give them good parents and they won’t miss the “things”. Best wishes to your family.
Jeff — although I used to eschew advice from parents and others who’ve “been there done that,” — only because I’m too stubborn to learn a lesson unless it’s the hard way — I’m beginning to learn the value of others’ experience. These were really nice words to hear, and well written too. Thanks for commenting here on the blog so that other readers can benefit from your words as well. I really hope you’ll continue.
And oh yes, late in life is a fair statement. I do wish I could get back some of the energy I had in my 20s to deal with my kids now, but I certainly wouldn’t go back and have them in my 20s. I would’ve been a TERRIBLE parent then. I really needed to grow up. Still working on it.
Suzanne, I can’t properly put into words how this post touched my heart. Certainly, I’ve had a lot of time to contemplate the meaning of family since I moved so far away from my own. And my own extended tribe, which included you all. Not sure what it will all lead to yet, but this post gave me a glimmery image of a future I can only hope for. Love you guys.
JoJo – thank you so much for taking the time to let me know you were touched by my post. These are the things that make doing this worthwhile — other than the big money I make (haha, I have yet to see a penny).
We hope for that future for you too. And we think it’s here in Atlanta. : )
I saw a link to this post and had to see what Chuck E Cheese and the NICU could have in common and wanted to say, I feel for you on both counts (although our hospital has pretty good pizza). Your post really moved me. So much, I’ve looked around more and will be following. I will be thinking of your family and especially you when pumping away from your son. I remember those moments clearly.
Thanks! I have to say, sometimes I wonder why I take the time to write, especially when it’s almost always time away from something else, like, say, sleeping…but it’s so gratifying to have someone I don’t even know read, understand, empathize, and yes, sometimes bitch alongside me. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and also to offer encouragement. Looking forward to checking your blog out.
I hope your tiny one gets to come home soon so that you can endure the Chuck E. Cheese visits with both kids in tow and only have one pizza place to avoid eating at.
Thanks! I’m not sure if bringing a baby makes Chuck E. Cheese more or less bearable. But it would be nice to have everyone together, instead of stopping off at the hospital to see your baby on the way to hell, I mean, Chuck E. Cheese.
I do know beer would make it more bearable though. Chuck E. Cheese needs a liquor license!
AMEN sister. Beer at the very least would make screaming go down several decibels, at least in my mind.
Our Chuck E Cheese as a kid sold BEER! And they sold to anyone who appeared to be at least 16. It was a weird place as a kid. Not unlike the bowling alley. And a glorious haven of skeeball and underage beer consumption in my late teen years.
Meyer is a doll. Chin up, sister. No pizza. You got this. Life is weird. You got that right.
Congrats on Meyer’s homecoming! You guys are doing a great job!!! There is so much in front of you, (smiles and tears) and so much you’ve gone through (smiles and tears), but each time…. each moment helps prepare you for the next one. and so you are in the moment and hopefully aware & noticing. Soaking it all in. Embracing it…… – smiles and tears.
I hope you guys do the little league t-ball and baseball thing in the future.. Whew! That’s a roller coaster for parents if anything is.