There’s nothing like a cursing toddler to make you check yourself, is there? It wasn’t until Asher (6) was first starting to talk that I even thought about what a potty mouth I had. Years of working in music, spending time in bars and being around my foul-mouthed friends (do you like the way I shifted that over to being their fault?) had given me a sailor’s way with words. In fact, I used many of the more unseemly ones extremely casually. Like the “f” bomb, which occasionally still creeps in.
But I cleaned it up for the sake of my kids – with the possible exception of those times when you lose your shit (oops). Like when a car pulls out in front of you or you don’t do a proper job sealing the baggie you’re marinating your veggies in and you give it a good shake and … well, you know where the damn broccoli is now.
So it was with some surprise that I was shocked when Meyer, my 2-year-old, began to say “FOOK” to me repeatedly and with insistence . It seemed, in particular, like every time I put a bowl of something I’d cooked in front of him, he’d immediately look at it, look at me and then say, “FOOK.” I’d knit my brows and look at him, puzzled. I’d repeat “fook, fook, fook” quietly under my breath. And giggle.
One night, as I wandered around the kitchen, cooking, fetching food for the kids, loading the dishwasher, the kid continued saying “FOOK” with increasing urgency.
I finally decided Meyer really, really hated my cooking. And that I might need to be even more careful when the kids are within earshot.
And then one day, I reached into the silverware drawer and took out a utensil. I was waving it around while talking to Asher – and suddenly Meyer held out his open palm towards me and said “FOOK.”
So I handed him the FORK he’d been asking for for at least 3 weeks and did what any relieved parent would do. Immediately sent out this tweet.
And that is how I made the Huffington Post’s Best Parenting Tweets of the Week for the very first time ever.
The moral of the story? People love it when toddlers curse. See, I’m a good role model after all.
Want in on the fooking fun? Follow me on twitter. I’m @toulousentonic.