Fook it.


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There’s nothing like a cursing toddler to make you check yourself, is there?  It wasn’t until Asher (6) was first starting to talk that I even thought about what a potty mouth I had. Years of working in music, spending time in bars and being around my foul-mouthed friends (do you like the way I shifted that over to being their fault?) had given me a sailor’s way with words. In fact, I used many of the more unseemly ones extremely casually.  Like the “f” bomb, which occasionally still creeps in.

A portrait of a toddler.But I cleaned it up for the sake of my kids – with the possible exception of those times when you lose your shit (oops).  Like when a car pulls out in front of you or you don’t do a proper job sealing the baggie you’re marinating your veggies in and you give it a good shake and … well, you know where the damn broccoli is now.

So it was with some surprise that I was shocked when Meyer, my 2-year-old, began to say “FOOK” to me repeatedly and with insistence .  It seemed, in particular, like every time I put a bowl of something I’d cooked in front of him, he’d immediately look at it, look at me and then say, “FOOK.”  I’d knit my brows and look at him, puzzled.  I’d repeat “fook, fook, fook” quietly under my breath.  And giggle.

One night, as I wandered around the kitchen, cooking, fetching food for the kids, loading the dishwasher, the kid continued  saying “FOOK” with increasing urgency.

I finally decided Meyer really, really hated my cooking.  And that I might need to be even more careful when the kids are within earshot.

And then one day, I reached into the silverware drawer and took out a utensil.  I was waving it around while talking to Asher – and suddenly Meyer held out his open palm towards me and said “FOOK.”

Ohhhhhh.

So I handed him the FORK he’d been asking for for at least 3 weeks and did what any relieved parent would do. Immediately sent out this tweet.

Cursing Toddler - HuffPo Best Parenting Tweets of the WeekAnd that is how I made the Huffington Post’s Best Parenting Tweets of the Week for the very first time ever.

The moral of the story?  People love it when toddlers curse.  See, I’m a good role model after all.

Want in on the fooking fun?  Follow me on twitter.  I’m @toulousentonic.

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  1. Nickie says:

    When my oldest first started to talk his nanny took him to the grocery store. Seeing a very long line at the deli counter, they punched in our order at the kiosk and went about their shopping. They still hadn’t heard thir order number over the loudspeaker by the time they had finished shopping and come back to the deli, so his nanny asked when the order would be ready. When she was told that it would be a few more minutes, she made a mildly exasperated sound, and my toddler said “Jeeeeeeesus”. Not exactly a curse word, but not exactly a win either.

    • I can just picture this, Nickie and it made me LOL!
      Asher used to say, “Silly Jew” in public, which was pretty embarrassing seeing as how I was usually alone with him and it therefore looked like we were just incredibly racist instead of a interfaith family with a Jewish member who isn’t afraid to poke fun at himself.

  2. We were in traffic when SOMEONE ELSE honked their horn and from the backseat I hear, “Oh, bitch!”

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