I never thought I’d say this but I’m PROUD of Monica Lewinsky. Not for what she did back when she was 22 years old, although I can forgive that (and all the best reasons are summed up in this post by Baby Sideburns). We ALL did stupid things we’re ashamed of and didn’t want the world to know about when we were young. We just didn’t get bullied by an entire political system and creamed in worldwide media for those things. We were able to wake up, do whatever kind of walk of shame was called for, move on with our lives, live and learn.
But not Monica.
She was taken advantage of by a very powerful and magnetic man. I can’t stand comments about how she’s as culpable as Bill Clinton is. She. Is. Not. She was young and stupid and made a mistake. He was much older and (supposed to be) mature, he was powerful, he was married, he had a child, he was the LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. And he was her boss.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Bill Clinton. I’ve moved on like we all should. But do I believe he deserves more of the blame than Monica? Hell yes, I do.
But still, Monica did something wrong, has paid far more than a fair price for it and I believe is truly sorry for what she did. But that’s not why I’m proud of her.
I’m proud of her because she finally stopped hiding away in shame. She stood up, found her voice, found a cause (ending cyberbulling) and let her voice be heard.
I disagree completely with Timothy Stanley who calls her “shameless” in this article on CNN.com.
Shameless means characterized by or showing a lack of shame.
I posit that Monica Lewinsky has done almost nothing but show shame for her entire adult life. But what she’s NOT doing anymore is hiding away in shame. And I’m proud of her for that. Because staying underground can send the message that you’re guilty and wrong and weak — and people will prey upon that weakness.
When a member of my family is embarrassed about something they did, I tell them “Fleets don’t hide.” If you’ve made a mistake, you’re brave enough to face the world and admit you did a bad thing, but you’re not a bad person. I’ve had to admit some harsh mistakes to my boys before and ask for their forgiveness. They’d probably have forgotten about whatever I did in an hour if I’d let it go, but I want to teach them to own their mistakes, say they’re sorry and move on — so I have to do it too.
I may not always be the very best at following this philosophy. I’m a person who makes mistakes often (because I never listen to anyone – just ask my parents), but I try to own up to them and show my boys those mistakes don’t define me. And they don’t define them. Anymore than they should define Monica.
I’m finally proud of her. Very proud of her.
Walk tall, Monica.
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photo despositphotos by S_Bukley
Excellent post. I caught a bit of her on TV out of the corner of my eye and when she stated that she was the very first victim of cyberbullying she really grabbed my attention. I know I’m eternally grateful that there was no internet when I was growing up – I have done my own walk of shame more than once.
I know, right? Even in my 30s, I’ve done a thing or two (or 3 or 4) that I’m glad no one caught on tape.
I feel like she’s in a place now where she’s finally realized she can stand up and move on. She deserves that! Thanks for commenting!
I’ve always liked her, and felt bad for her. She grew up near me and is about the same age so I always felt like she could have been my friend, or even me. I am proud of her for not hiding anymore. She should never have had to hide.
Well, if you put it out there and own it, what can people say? “You shouldn’t have”? Well, I did. Shucks. I can’t be that guy without sin who has the honor of throwing the first stone. Can you?
She sounded so strong in the interview. It really was inspiring and I’m glad she’s speaking out against cyberbullying. She will be a fantastic role model for victims – proof that yes you can get past this.
You know, back when this happened, I had a very different opinion.
But after reading this post about bullying and being taken advantage of, I think you have a great point.
Thanks for sharing!