Drinking Games

My mind has been mommy-fied. Or mommy-fried. I am pickled.

Saturday, I had an idea for a funny piece about how different watching the Oscars as a parent is from watching the Oscars as a person without kids. I wrote it, prepared graphics and posted it, but it was Saturday afternoon. And the Oscars were, ya know, the next day. Like last night. I’m a little late to the party. As usual.

So…all I heard were crickets. Nice, relaxing crickets. Unless you’re a writer waiting for readers and then, those damn annoying crickets — I want to go outside and smash them all with a baseball bat coated in Raid.

Even though the Oscars are over, I think you’ll still enjoy it. It’s called The Academy Awards Drinking Game, PARENT EDITION. Feel free to apply it to all awards shows you watch in the future. Or even just the evenings in general. It’ll make them better, I promise.

To use my kindergartner’s new favorite word…BLERG.

Today, I’m over at Bonbon Break with an original piece I wrote for them called Letter to Me, circa 2003. I was daydreaming about what my life was like 10 years ago one day, just thinking about how if I drank a little too much and was hungover the next morning, it was no big deal because I’d just lay around all day watching Sex and The City and eating Krystal Chiks anyway…and that got me wishing I could communicate with myself back then and tell that girl to LIVE IT UP WHILE SHE STILL COULD. So I did. Read it to find out what I wish I’d done with G. Love (of G. Love and Special Sauce).

Sorry, honey.

Here’s a little sneak peek at the anthology I’m gonna be a part of. Along with a bunch of other seriously funny ladies, as you can see by the back cover. Stay tuned to find out the release date…but it won’t be long now!