I Beliebe. But That’s Just Me.

Just this week alone, I became a HuffPo contributor, an In The Powder Room writer AND a Belieber. I’m not sure which one is more shocking but I do know which one is most likely to get me arrested.

But I’m not in the Big House, even though I wrote my name on Justin Bieber’s underpants, so there is such a thing as magic and as for me, I beliebe.

But my little Jewish friend — not so much. This 1st-grader who shall rename anonymous proudly brought home this gem to his parents from school a week or so ago. I saw it on my friend’s Facebook page and after I picked my shiksa ass up off the floor, I asked if I could share it with you. Cuz no matter what religion we practice (or don’t), we all need a good laugh.
A Jewish kid writes all over a Santa drawing that Santa is fake and being Jewish is cool

So more about this week.

First there was the hullabaloo a commenter caused after she ripped me a new one saying my husband and I are horrible parents because we celebrate diversity. Funny-story-but-a-sad I really enjoyed your reactions to her and it reaffirmed my faith that perhaps for every ignorant person out there, there is an equal and opposite practicing non-idiot.

Then that same piece got picked up by the Huffington Post.  I’m not even about to #humblebrag.  I’m just gonna flat-out brag.  I’ve been published in HuffPo.  The Huffington Post.  In all seriousness, such a major dream come true.

My friend the Grinch, i.e. Mike, gave you 10 Things to Hate About the Holidays.  But you didn’t really need anymore reasons at this point, did you?  I’ll give you one anyway.  Cookie exchanges.  WTF?

I also agreed to interview Justin Bieber’s mom, Pattie Mallette.  Then I almost backed out.  Then I did it anyway but in kind of a weird way.  And I was pleased to discover that among the many things this lady has that we know about, she also has something a lot of people don’t know about — a sense of humor.

The interview was ostensibly about the Biebs’ new movie, #Believe, opening Christmas Day.  But it became a little more about his underpants and silly mustache.  You can read about it here.  More to come on that story.

And all around the internets, I was reading and seeing amazing stuff like this from Nicole Leigh Shaw, and this from Kathy at Kissing the Frog and this from The Bearded Iris via Elf Shaming.  Go ahead — laugh, cry, laugh, cry.  Then laugh and cry some more.  It’s what all the kids with seasonal affective disorder  are doing this holiday season.

I snapped this picture today of what the bottom 2 feet of my Christmas tree looks like now that it’s been toddlerized.  But it looks just beautiful from there up.  Falalalalalalalalala.1507676_495428283906461_1005827941_n

I hope you have a very merry holiday of your own choosing and you get to see those sugar plums dancing in your kids’ heads — even if it takes a fifth of vodka to do it.  For you, not for them, dummy.  They shouldn’t have more than one drink, two at the most!  KIDDING!!

Raise a glass.  There are only 4 more shopping days until we can finally get off the holiday insanity express. Cheers to one and all.

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  1. I think you guys are funny and sarcastic, and sarcasm is healthy
    Especially in this “@&))@ world we live in.
    Santa is fake, and the ones they blow up with hot
    Air are tacky and give me the creeps. I was raised
    Catholic, but I never believed that fat ass fit thru
    My fireplace and ate my cookie. Moms handwriting
    “From Santa” ? Seriously Santa can’t write?
    I ended up changing my faith to Islam. And the
    Religion I follow believes in Jews and Christians
    And all the prophets like Moses, David, Jesus, Abraham.
    And we believe Jesus will come again. So I look at
    The similarities, I don’t look at the hate. And I believe
    Two people trying to share different beliefs is
    An awesome thing. Yes, Santa is fake! Fake
    As his jolly fat ass squeezing thru chimneys.
    But if we say there used to be a nice St Nick who gave
    Out toys, that comforts me more! What’s wrong
    With truth and honesty, respect and tolerance?
    Nothing! It’s awesome. We don’t do Christmas,
    But I’m happy if it makes others happy!
    It’s a crazy life, we just try our best and add some
    Love. Peace! Shalom

  2. Congrats to you on all of it! I think celebrating diversely during the holidays is a wonderful idea. Have a blessed one!

  3. Is “diversely” a word??

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