Don’t Vajazzle Your Vajiggle Jaggle and 20 Other Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 20.

Ash.fingerpaint

Every now and then I want to be inspirational.  It’s not that often, perhaps, but even I stop wisecracking once in a while and get serious.  Today I’m sharing one of my favorite pieces, full of very real – but still very funny – advice to my niece. All the things I wish I knew when […]

Ten Things I’ve Learned As My Kids Become Adults

My kids are grown up. Here are 10 important lessons I learned along the way.

Today, I have a surprise for you.  Mike is not all snark.  He has a real, beating heart under there – and some serious smarts when it comes to raising kids.  Since his kids are young adults and mine are still little curtain-climbers, I’m gleaning some wisdom from this post while I laugh.  I bet […]

The Top 10 Sucky Things About Being Pregnant

10 sucky things about being pregnant

I haven’t been pregnant in more than 2 years (ahem, thank goodness with how this one went down), yet this is still one of my most popular posts.  I guess it’s all you women who, despite all these sucky things about being pregnant, keep doing it again and again and again.  ; )  Sooo, I […]

The Worst Pickup Lines Ever Heard

The Most Heinous & Hilarious Pickup Lines

A good friend and I were recently reminiscing about our single days and she reminded me of this little gem of a pickup line a guy once used on me. As I was leaving the dance floor in a noisy club, he grabbed my arm, leaned into my ear and shouted, “You dance sexy — […]

20 Totally Ridiculous Things That Seem Completely Normal in College

20 Totally Ridiculous Things That Seem Completely Normal in College

My friend Mike and I went to college together (a long time ago as you can tell by this grainy photo).  We did stupid things, LOTS of stupid things — not the least of which is evidenced above.  Yep, that’s both of us – and I can assure you I’m not unhappy the picture quality […]

26 Ways To Make Sure Your Future Daughter-in-law Loves You.

Never lose your boys! 26 ways i'm making sure my future daughter in law loves ME! - toulouse & tonic

Although I wanted daughters my whole life, I ended up having two awesome boys instead. I’ve always been a bit of a guy’s girl so in the end, someone knew better than I did. But coming from a family of all girls, I was really scared when I found out I was carrying a member […]

10 Ways To Annoy Your Man During the Super Bowl

ways to take your man's attention away from football

I’m not one of those women who hates football.  But I do hate Pro Football.  In fact, when the SuperBowl is on in my house this Sunday, I’ll be way more interested in the ads than the game.  Other things I’ll be way more interested in?  The US Weekly on my lap, the buffalo wings […]

10 Differences Between First And Second Time Moms

funny differences in parenting with first child and second child

I originally wrote this post for the blog Mommy Shorts when she was just on the verge of explosion into second-time motherhood.  I’d already been there for about 9 months at the time and was constantly struck by how different I was with the second one than the first one.  With Asher, everything had to […]