Making my kids hate me one post at a time.
My dad is the most practical man on the face of the planet. Without fail, and meaning every word of it, he always asked me and my sisters for things like batteries, socks and fingernail clippers for every single gift-giving holiday. My husband is much, much less practical. And therefore, much harder to please. But […]
Dearest Hadley: Your ears are comically large yet you still can’t seem to hear anything I have to say. I think it’s time for a a little talk. You may not wanna hear this but the truth of the matter is, you’re the trouble-maker of the family. If you’d just heed my simple advice, you’d […]
My kindergartner’s spring break was last week and I was lucky enough to have two awesome books tucked into my bag as we pulled out of the driveway on vacation. I can hear what you’re saying right now. How the hell did you find time to read two, let alone one book while on “vacation” […]
Welcome to April’s Finding the Funny! Before we start sharing our funny posts, we have a (huge) giveaway! My Parenting Victory (and a HUGE giveaway)! After his bath last night, my kindergartner started messing with his ear again. I decided it was time for me to put on my doctor gloves. I probably don’t need […]
I’m not sure how many of you get the connection between “Toulouse” and New Orleans, LA. Anyone? Anyone? Here, let me give you a hint. Now you’re in on my secret. New Orleans is the motherland of Toulouse and it’s there that I first encountered Madame Marie Laveau’s House of Voodoo. Let me tell you, […]
Today is the realization of a lifelong dream for me. Over the weekend, just a little earlier than I was expecting, I was published. In a real book. That you can buy. And that I can, like, autograph. If anyone wants. (looksdownkicksrocks) And in 48 hours, that book — I Just Want To Pee Alone […]
The best thing about Chrismukkah and the worst thing about Chrismukkah? One word. Two perspectives. Kid: The best thing about Chrismukkah is the presents. So many presents! Parent: The worst thing about Chrismukkah is the presents. So many presents! This is one aspect of combining Christmas and Hannukah that we haven’t figured out how to […]
It’s the Friday (w)rap-up, dawg. This week, at Toulouse & Tonic, I wrote my most favorite post ever — a profane expose about the dysfunctional Berenstain Bears clan. Special thanks to Ninja Mom for letting me be one of her stealth assassins. If you enjoyed The Berenstain Bears and Too Much TV: Bitch PLEASE, you’ll […]
